LOVE WITHOUT SLEEP

THE CHAPTER 17

Everything in me was ready go over to the both of them and slap George and dash alcohol in Emma's face. I imagined the entire scenario, her makeup sliding down her face as she shrieked...him holding onto his face where it stings due to the force of my hand. The crowd opening up at the center to allow me a proper moment to shout at him as they watch. I grabbed another shot glass, laughing at my thought process. Matty's hand stopping it before it could reach my lips.

"Easy on the shots, you're nearly wasted." He took the glass from my hands, sitting it aside.

"I'm not." I laid my head down against the bar, closing my eyes.

I could hear Matty speaking, though I didn't understand a single word he said. I laughed at his voice, it was squeaky through my ears and every word sounded like jibber.

"Alright, Jude. Let's get you back to the house, this has gone completely wrong. You're drunk, you're not supposed to be. I'm sober, I wish I wasn't--"

I laughed out loud, almost howling, I knew I must have been too loud, for the fact that my voice rang over the dreadful disco song playing. Heads turned, "what the hell are you looking at?" I asked, daring any one of them to say a word. I got down from my seat, nearly falling over before Matty took me into his arms.

"Jude, let's go." He said, with the seriousness in his tone, I knew he wasn't taking my shit any longer...it depressed me.

"You're tired of me." I said, tears swelling in my eyes.

He sighed, looking all around to what I supposed was to not see George, "I'm not, its just time to go, okay?"

I nodded, holding onto his arm and staggering out. The air was cold as he pushed the heavy doors open. I looked around as everything seemed to move, everything including the ground beneath my feet. Luckily, Matty continued to hang on to my arm.

Matty sighed, unlocking the doors to the car as we soon made our approach. I looked at him before getting in, taking a seat and feeling guilty. As he went around and got in as well I struggled to keep quiet. I couldn't act as I was anymore, drunk. I was behaving just like my parents...and I'd realized I was becoming more and more like them...drinking, anytime something went wrong...

"I'm sorry." I said.

"For what?" He asked.

It was as if my face was a heavy weight, falling straight into the palm of my hands and drowning them in tears. My emotions pulled me in and wouldn't give me back, my drunken state was only an abyss for every real thing wrong with me.

"Jude..." he said, "come on. It's alright."

"It's not, Matty. It's not, it's not, it's not!" I repeated.

The car was filled with nothing but the sound of my sobbing. He didn't say a word, and neither did I after that. His hand reached out to my head, patting it gently. I looked up from my hands, glaring at him. Is he serious right now? It's my fault I guess...for doing it first.

-------------------------------------------------------

I turned around as the door opened, tying my hair to what I thought was a presentable ponytail in the mirror, though what really was a mess. I walked over to the bed, taking a seat as Matty set down a plate of bread and a cup of water on the table beside it. I laughed, covering my mouth.

He looked at me, ignoring it.

"Putting bread on a fancy plate like that. Thanks for dinner." I laughed again. He rolled his eyes, "eat it...it will help calm you down."

"What if I don't want to be calmed down?" I asked.

"I want you to." He said, crossing his arms, "if I can't be drunk neither can you."