Black pt2 ♣️

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Lizzie's head was still but I knew she wasn't asleep because her head twitched every time my phone went off. 

I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding and my phone went off for the last time as ponelope said goodnight in French which was our special way

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I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding and my phone went off for the last time as ponelope said goodnight in French which was our special way.
This was the only way I used to be able to talk to ponelope when we were going out as Lizzie can't understand and thought I was just practicing

"bonne nuit"

I said under my breath to ponelope which I know she heard because the lights went off.

Later that night everyone is asleep apart from a couple of students who can't sleep( around 10)
I tossed and turning till I looked at my screen which read a very fuzzy 12:30 am my hand scrubbed away the bits in my eyes and saw 10:50. I chuckled to myself about my blindness.
I opened my phone and texted the first person I could think off.

Josie: you up ?

My mind went to Penelope and all I could think about is about how sorry I am that I let her go

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My mind went to Penelope and all I could think about is about how sorry I am that I let her go.
About how sorry I am that the feelings were there but I wasn't.
Laying here I'm reminded of the fool I was when I cut her off and fucked us up.
My heart sank to the bottom of my chest as I rolled back over on my side.

My pillow case smelled like her if even time can't get rid of her how am I meant to get her out my head.
I've been waiting for her to change and come crawling back and now I realise it was me who needed to change.
My thoughts went to my birthday and the words

" this world needs the selfless and the selfish to keep spinning"

All this time lizzie was wrong it wasn't P who was the problem it was me. Our relationship wasn't changing me it was helping to see the problems in my life.

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