Nothing Follows

                                                                         NOTHING FOLLOWS

                After two years, nagkita ulit ang dating couple of the year sa isang reunion party ng mga professors sa University. Well, actually, this isn’t the first time they met since they broke up. But this is the first time he’ll see him as other girl’s man.

                Yes, he got a date, her closest student na kailangang gumawa ng article regarding tonight’s happenings na pinilit na isama sya kundi mawawalan sya ng pagkakataong magkaroon ng latin honor. She went by herself, hoping she can reconcile with him.

                She went early, she heard the news about him right away. She’s mad and furious when she saw him with that girl. She waited until he was away from that girl so she can talk to him.

                So, s’ya pala? S’ya yung pinalit mo sa’kin?

                You? Oh, Please. Let’s talk some other time, not here. Maraming tao.

                Kayo na ba? Ha. Kayo na?

                I guess, you heard the news? But, no. Hindi n’ya alam.

       Ha? Grabe lang. Bakit di mo sabihin? Sabihin mo sa kanya na kaya ayaw mong makipagbalikan sa’kin ay dahil hindi mo na ako mahal. Bakit? Dahil baka lumayo sya? Yun ba?

                Hindi. Hindi ko sasabihin sa kanya. Yun yung katumbas ng di ko pag-balik sa’yo. Hindi ko naman hinahanggad na maibalik nya sa’kin yung pagmamahal ko. Basta alam ko sa sarili ko na mahal ko sya. Mahalaga s’ya. At alam kong masasktan lang sya kapag nalaman nya kung ano ang nararamdaman ko. Masyado syang mabait, iniisip nya pa muna ang nararmdaman ng iba bago ang sarili nya. Alam kong mas iisipin nya yung sitwasyun natin kesa sa sarili nyang nararamdaman. Mas pipiliin nyang magkabalikan tayo kesa mahalin ako dahil ayaw nyang masaktan ka. Siguro, hindi ka nya kilala, pero alam nya kung ano yung pinagsamahan natin at yun ang magiging dahilan ng pag-iwas nya.

              So, now you’re telling how much you know her? Ni-hindi mo man lang ba naisip na masasaktan ako sa sasabihin mo?

                Alam ko. Masakit. But we’re over. It’s been what? 2 years? Wala tayong naging komunikasyon for 2 years. I was so lonely. I almost died when you left me with nothing. Tapos ngayon you are blaming me for loving somebody other than you? Sobra naman ata. I tried to be casual around you. After all, we are friends before any of these shits happened.

                Oo, 2 years. I was away for 2 years. Just 2 years. Tapos ito pa pala ang sasalubong sa’kin? Yung taong pinaglaban ko, wala na. 3 years lang yun, compared sa 8 years nating pagsasama. Hinanap ko lang naman yung nawalang ako nung naging tayo e. Ginawa ko lang better yung sarili ko para sa’yo. And you would just call those SHITS? Akala mo ba ikaw lang ang naging miserable? I was alone. Pumunta ako sa bansang wala akong kilalang kahit sino. I don’t speak their language, wala.. walang wala ako. But I fought the fear in me. Kakayanin ko e, para sayo. Sige, may kasalan ako, umalis akong bigla. Umalis akong Malabo ang relasyon natin. Pero di naman ata ganun kadaling ibasura ang 8 years.. 

                Sino bang naunang mambale-wala? I e-mailed you. I even cried in front of your parents’ house begging for updates about you. Pero wala. After ilang months, I heard you had a boyfriend. For the nth time, I felt I died again. I quit teaching dahil hindi na ako nagiging magandang impluwensya sa mga bata. I was nothing when you left me. And when I heard that news, wala na nga ako pero pinahihirapan pa ako lalo. Hindi mo alam yung pakiramdam nun! Hanggang sa lumipas ang isang taon. Pinabalik ako sa pagtuturo. I met her. She’s younger, she’s a student. But I fell in love with her, anyway. Yung emptiness ung nawala ka, napunan ng mga ngiti nya, ng tawa nya. Hindi nya alam, yung prof nyang naging katulong nya sa pag-graduate, minamahal na pala sya. Compared sa 8 years natin, I would still choose her. Sorry, I love this girl more than anybody now. And, though she though I’m just a friendly professor who’s close to his students, I don’t care. As long as it means being with her. Siguro, this is our last talk, just to clear our break up.

                Nababaliw ka na!

                And she walked out, full of pain in her chest. Wanting to burst. For she know, she’ll never win him back.

                That was really their end. No more turning back. The one have moved on, while the other was left with nothing. Nagkataon lang na nagkasakitan sila’t yung isa piniling kalimutan ang sakit at nagbukas ng puso, samantalang yung isa ay naiwan sa dating sitwasyon dahil inakala nyang may relasyon pa syang babalikan. Sad, bu that’s reality. Maybe, we tried to be a better person by leaving the one we love, no knowing we make them suffer. We cannot blame them if they find someone who’ll fill that emptiness we made. All we have to do is to move on. Accept the consequences of the actions we made.

                Life, will not always give us what we want, for the world is not only moving for us, but for everyone. If you really love someone, don’t let them slip away from you. Love them now, or nothing follows if you’ll lose them.