She who?

Isaac's POV

"So let's talk about the past, sa tinagal tagal nating nandito sa iisang room wala ka pang na-iku kwento sa akin para mas makilala kita Isaac." Ani Anika habang nakatitig sa akin, "Ahh, wala naman akong maiku-kwento eh. I'm just a College student, a struggling artist, taking a program of Architecture and curently broken hearted because a random girl named Anika who kept on dumping each day. How about you?" Agad namang nalukot ang maganda niyang mukha.

"Ibang Anika 'yon Anika! 'Wag kang assuming..." Lumipas ang tawanan, ang kulitan at harutan until out a blue, I was stuned by her looks. I used to joke around her and make fun of her time to time.

"Ang ganda mo, you truly are a work of art." Tunay talagang dalagang Filipina ang nakatayo sa harapan ko, ang cute niyang height, ang mala perselanang ngiti, ang kayumanggi niyang kulay, ang wavy niyang buhok, ang mga mata niyang nangungusap, ang simple niyang pananamit. It speaks Gandang Pinay by itself.

Agad na binalot ng pagkagulat at pagtataka ang kaniyang magandang mukha ngunit hindi ko inalis ang pagkakatitig dito sa halip ay mas tinitigan ko pa siya, wari'y sinasaulo bawat detelaye ng mukha niya.

"Ilang beses mo na ba 'yan nasabi sa babaeng nakakilala mo? Isaac kilala na kita. You're a player, all you do is break every women's heart and leave them broken, lahat kinakalimutan mo." Ani Anika habang animo'y nagtataray habang pilit itinatago ang pamumula ng mukha.

Then it hit me.

Everything about her is perfect and everything about her scares me, napaka creepy ng ngiti, masyadong perfect, there's gotta be something wrong about her, there should be! I mean just look at her. Standing infront of me, smiling. She have done nothing and yet she drives me crazy.

"What? Bakit mo ako tinititigan ng ganiyan?" Her voice is calm as if I could listen to her talk all day, ang sarap sa tainga. It is this gentle voice, a voice that talks as if it was caresing a baby, it was soothing to hear. I also noticed her face was slightly covered by pieces of hair because of the windy day.

Everything about her is perfect.

"Ang ganda mo kasi." I reapeted, she didn't said a word but only smiled, I slowly took the pieces of her hair and put it at the back of her ear. "Gusto kita. Gustong gusto kita kahit alam kong hinding hindi ka mapapasaakin. Ang sarap mong ipagdamot sa lahat Anika." Maluha luha kong ani habang direktang nakatitig sa kaniyang mga mata. We were both silent for a minute, parehas nangungusap ang aming mga mata.

Crying is for the weak, I use to say back when I was a child but looking back at her now I finally found my weakness. I could cry forever just for her. Agad siyang umiwas sa aking mga titig kaya't hinaplos ko ang kaniyang malambot na pisngi at marahang itinutok sa aking gawi. I saw her. I saw her eyes as they water, every tear that have fallen and it slowly tear me down.

"B-bakit? M-may mali ba sa mga sinabi ko?" Natataranta kong tanong ng bigla niyang alisin ang pagkakahawak ko sa kaniya. "Hindi ito maaari Isaac, hindi ka pupwedeng magkagusto sa akin." Bullshit.

"A-ako ang unang nakakita sayo, I was the one who fell deeply in love with you, not him not them! Ako!" I said as tears falling down my cheecks, "I was the one who would die just to make you mine." Hinawakan ko agad ang kaniyang kamay.

"But I'm already yours Isaac, I'm no one's property but you. I belong to you, hindi sa kaniya, hindi sakanila, sayo lang ako." She said trying to take back her hand while I try my best not to let it go.

"Baby you're making it hard for the both of us, please! I beg you! Stay with me." Sa puntong ito nilunok ko na lahat ng natitirang pride sa sarili ko at lumuhod sa harapan niya, para akong batabg nagmamakaawa na 'wag siyang iwanan ng magulang na aalis papuntang ibang bansa.

I was that desperate.

"Pinag-usapan na natin 'to Isaac, who many times should I have to tell you na hindi pwede."

"Hindi mo naman ako kailangang mahalin pabalik, all you need to do is to let me love you. It's that simple Anika."

"Please don't do this to me. Please don't let me feel this kind of pain again." Pagmamakaawa ko pa. Please don't do this to me.

"Pero kahit anong sabihin mo hindi ako si Anika na minahal mo! Hinding hindi ako magiging si Anika na pinagpaguran mong makuha noong grade eleven pa lang kayo!" Sa puntong ito hindi niya na napigilan pa't kumawala ang malakas na hagulgol na kanina niya pang pinipigilan.

I was stuned about what she said, "P-paano mo nalaman?" Hindi rin nagtagal ang malakas na hagulgol ay naging mumunting hikbi na lang. Ni hindi ko siya matitigan ng ayos dahil sa tinding hiya na nararamdaman ko ngayon, the guilt was consuming every bit of me and it knew I liked it.

Well I did deserve that feeling, "S-satingin mo ba hindi ko mararamdaman na bawat hawak, bawat ngiti, bawat tigin mo sa akin ay siya at siya pa rin ang nasa isip mo? I can see it in your eyes Isaac and it's killing me." Sa tinagal tagal naming magkasama, this is the first time that I saw her break, she was always full sadness to begin with I just tried to hide it under a rug and pretend that she was okay.

"I'm sorry Anika, but let me tell you this, I have always loved you." As tears falling down her cheecks she said the things that I tried to hide for a very long time, I even manage myself to believe it, was so caught up by my emotions, by my art that even I myself was manipulated by it.

"I'm just your work Isaac, I'm just a painting of Anika, I mere hardcopy of her, nothing more nothing less. I'm nothing but a painting of your ex lover my love." She said with full honesty.

"Kailangan mong makipagkilala sa iba. Tanggapin mo na kasing wala na siya, hindi na siya babalik pa Isaac." Biglang nagdilim ang paningin ko't hindi nagdalawang isip pang itinulak ang aking painting sa lapag at kumuha ng matulis na bagay at pinagsasaksak ang canvas.

Hindi pa ako nakuntento't kinaladkad ko ito palabas, hinagisan ng gas, at sinidihan.

"It felt so real." Ani ko habang mahigpit na hinahawakan ang paint brush. Things kept on being so fucking weird yet fucking real at the same time, it's scares me.

"Uy! Isaac," Nagulantang ako ng muli siyang makita.

"Sabi ni manang nandito ka raw sa backyard kaya I let myself in." Napatingin naman siya sa aking ginawa. "Burning one of your paintings again? Sayang naman ang gaganda pa naman! You didn't even let me see, hahaha. By the way my husband and I was wondering kung alam mo na? You can make us a portrait para sa Anniversary namin? I mean ikaw kasi talaga ang kilala kong pinaka magaling sa mga ganitong bagay eh.

"Sure thing Anika, sure thing." I said as I took one more glimpse of my burning piece.

Thanks for reading. :P Sam.