Sexual Insanity

Entry Six: One Short Day

One short day...

One short day can feel like an eternity in the life of the lonely.  It's never sunrise-to-sunset.  Everything about every day life seems like a chore - and effort to keep going.  You have no one to share the day way.  You have to carry your own burdens on your back.  You have to go at it alone.  The heaviness is so great that it slows down time.  Nothing comes easy - it's always difficult.  Day in and day out, the heaviness on your shoulders reminds you of your place, your fate - to be alone, craving the elixer of life, the passion of companionship that lessens the load, that helps you to feel more alive.

One short day...

He came to me out of a dream.  A man on assignment here in this small Alaska town, just passing through for the summer.  He came to me asking for directions - he stayed for idle conversation.  My suspicions were raised - but only for a moment.  I craved the conversation, and I was happy to have the company, if only for a little while.  The day no longer felt so extended.  It zipped by, spirited, charged with talk to bordellos, booze, and French lace condoms.

With him...it really was one short day.  But as we parted aways, I could feel the world around me slowing down all over again.  I resigned myself to the inevitable, thankful for the time I was given.

But we continued to meet, over and over again.  At first, it was happy accidents - we just happened to be in the right place at the right time.  But then he gave me his phone number, and his address.  It was so sudden, and it surprised me.  Yet it excited me, too.  I had to ask why.

"You...seem like you're in need of someone to talk to," he murmured, somewhat timid.  "And I wouldn't mind being that person."

He didn't need to ask twice.

In one short day...

I'm at his "home" - a small, but cozy hotel room at the Landing.  It doesn't take long for us to realize why we are here - why we were both so drawn to each other.  He knows what its like to be lonely - just like me.  We both crave the same thing and in the comfort of the room, it's very easy to get it.  The clothes come off easily, and we're both in the bed, making love in passionate, spirited ways.

When the love making in done, we lie beside each other, just taking it all in.  I take it all the little touches, the fingers in my hair and down my cheeks, the circles in the small of my back.  He tells me he's never done this before - but he couldn't help himself.  I've never done anything like this either - but with him, it was so easy.  I want to do this over and over again - and he's all too happy to obliged.  The day may be passing by quickly outside that hotel door, but in here, in him, and him inside me, time has to place here.

One short day after another, we meet in his room, making love, making friends, and making the best out of living in such a lonely place.  He worries for me, wonders why someone like me is so alone in a place like this.  Loneliness is never picky, I tell him.  He agrees - no, I suppose it isn't.  As the day of his depature gets closer and closer he worries for me - and fears for himself.

I want to be with you every day, just like this...maybe then, for me, the days won't seem so long.

I wish for the same thing...but in my head, so he can't hear me.

One short day...

It's all over.  The check-out time is 11AM, but his ferry departs long before then.  He makes the journey to the terminal on his own - I can't be with him because I have to work.  But I find the time to sneak out of work, and watch the ferry depart until its out of sight.  The tears won't stop flowing from my eyes, and once again, the world is heavy on my shoulders.  I whisper the words "I miss you already" into the wind, in hopes that somehow he will hear it.

One short day extends into one long, laborious day.

With a sigh, I've made my way back to my job.  I remember ever sight, every sound, and every passing scent.  An email awaits me when I get back to the office - an email from him and a plane ticket.

I don't want you to be lonely anymore - here's to shorter days...together.

Fourteen long days...I'll gladly endure them all for that one short day with him.