The Story of Moon - Epilogue

The Darkest Side of Moon

  I have a black dog, his name is depression if you touch you'll get bitten - Winston Churchill

  Being young yet dead inside is a somber blessing. As you continue to live, you will find no choice but to become reborn as what you were always meant to be. Time doesn't heals all mental anguish if not only by the peace of death earned.  I seriously think I might stay like this for the rest of my life. Letting vague aspirations on the horizon become landmarks i never dared to ascend. I don't think I'll never know what it's like on the sunny side of the mountain but at least I can ponder the history of the stars. 

  You know whats amazing about our society today? We live in an era where you can create literally any kind of career through the power of the internet, but some rather use that to wake up miserably and angry at those who did instead of focusing on doing it too.

  Recently had a very uncomfortable experience. I lost my 3 month job, I couldn't sleep for 3 days in a row, because of anxiety and the only thing passed by my head was "Why I'm going through this again? Better be dead than living with suffering". I was feeling miserable and doomed because I had to finish it within 2 months. When I get anxious I will suddenly start to feel hot and weak, and start absolutely sweating bullets. This is actually to the point that (I guess) it actually lowers my core temperature slightly, to the point that I shiver uncontrollably until the problem is solved.

  Do you know what it the sadness part of life? Is to lose someone or something you care.
Life is sad and that's is a fact, because you born to be strong enough to stand the pain of losing something you gained or someone you loved. There's no one who is happy, happiness is temporary but sadness is permanent is always there for you when you fall.

  In this sad world of ours sorrow comes to all and it often comes with bitter agony. Perfect relief is not possible except with time or solutions. You can't now believe that you will ever feel better. This is was depressed people feel like. I thought if I trusted my friends enough I would tell them that I need help, because it's easier  to be held than holding on, but I haven't the courage or maybe the hope that it'll help me. I might get through another day, waiting for my anger and pain to fade away.
I've kept to myself, the thoughts, the crazy ideias, the true meaning of helping the others who need it, I was the one. I may think this is my way to go on life. When I forget the bad things that are around me, something is ready to kick in and drag me down like an ocean where the light can't show up.

  I realized, I'm a very hopeless person that can't do anything to this society 'cause I'm to gloomy.

  Here are some poems for you if you feel the same way as me:

I'm sick of crying, tired of trying, 
yeah i'm smiling but inside i'm dying  

Want to talk but you won't listen me
Want to have fun but you won't let me
Want to move on but you keep dragging me down
Can I take the full dive or you won't let me cause you love me?  

Hidding in the rain, my tears
saying I'm fine when I'm not
The pain of spears
going through me 
This Loneliness
is killing me

Hold on my sweater
Praying weather gets better
Touch my body and feel the cold
This is the sadness that anyone can hold
The love you gave
I've turned into a slave
Please I'm addicted to your voice, your presence stills in my heart
May I follow the same path that you choose? Or still living apart

I call for your name, my voice echoes through the house, through empty rooms.
I feel I can not take it, I feel short of breath, I insist on torturing myself. You will not come back.

Teach me how to say goodbye.
My love, I'll take my time,
I'll see you on the other side

Maybe this is the last time we see
But I'll let you know
The love for you
Is from here to the moon 

Look at Moon please :)
Tonight you're not alone, the Moon is sad too.
Thank you so much, see you in the next chapter!