Childhood // Minsung ✔

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Weeks had passed since the last time Minho had gone home. He had just finished his exams so obviously he had to study for them, but midterms ended a bit over a week ago. His classes for the next week got cancelled, but he didn't want to go home. He was afraid of what Jisung might ask him, or if he would behave differently. He felt relieved that Jisung finally knew about his hidden past, but he didn't want the other to feel pity towards him. He just wanted everything back to normal.

Normal, as in before their first kiss, when they were still normal best friends.

What he found particularly strange was that he used to regret it. He regretted kissing Jisung the first time he did. Yet, he hadn't regretted kissing him the second time, it had gotten his head all messed up and confused. He doesn't exactly know what to feel. I wanted to kiss him, so I did. Why did I do that?

Jisung made him feel things no one else could make him feel and made him say things he usually wouldn't say.

"The other day when I kissed you, I told you I didn't mean to; I lied." He really wondered why in the world he had even said, or admitted, that.

Yet, he didn't completely know what he was actually feeling, because of the fact that he had known Jisung his whole life. He had seen him grow up into the person he was now. He was the person he used to bathe with, whom he had to protect from typical bullies and worst of all, the one he had always sort of seen as his little brother. They weren't related, at all. They just simply lived under the same roof, for quite some time now.

He hated himself for thinking of Jisung in that way. In a non-platonic way. He still did not understand why the younger didn't hate his guts. He probably ruined their relationship more in the past month than he ever could have over the past few years.

Jisung is too nice, at times.

While he was thinking all of this, he was lying in his bed, continuously turning to his sides, unable to sleep. He wanted some time away from home to figure out his actual feelings, but it had done the opposite of that. Even if he felt something for Jisung, he kept pondering at the fact that his feelings might not get returned, and that he would be the one getting hurt.

He did not want to hurt once again. Never again. It had drained all of his energy, most of it at the dance studio. His father pretended that he was a kind person when he allowed him to dance. Minho's first intention of dancing began with his anger towards his father, to release all of it. Fortunately, it became something he loved to do, not only to release anger. It had become his passion.

He didn't want to hurt, and he was not planning on getting hurt, because he will never risk losing Jisung. He drew the second to last straw when he had kissed him for a second time, the last straw is just too close.

Another hour had passed, and some had gotten tired of the noise Minho was making by turning around every damn second. "Minho! Can you be... I don't know.. Quiet, maybe?" Changbin hissed, not being able to sleep even one second.

He was at his dormitory, where he shared a room with Changbin and Chan. Woojin is their neighbour.

"Is something wrong?" Chan asked worryingly, sitting up straight while rubbing his hands into his sleepy eyes, looking at where Minho was at.

Minho cleared his throat. "Everything is fine," He turned to lie on his right side and mumbled. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to keep you guys awake."

Changbin grumbled as he covered his whole self with his blankets. "It's fine," He spoke very softly, realising he came off rude earlier.

Minho turned around once again, making him groan in frustration. He got up, out of his bed, took his jacket and opened the door. "I need some fresh air," He grumbled as he exited his dorm room.

As the door closed, both of his roommates sat up straight. Changbin looked at Minho leaving the room with a questioning expression. "What's his deal?" He asked towards Chan, who just shrugged.

~~~

"So who is this new kid joining our class in the middle of the year?" Jisung questioned as he was talking to Felix over the phone. Neither one of them were able to sleep so one called the other in hope of not waking him.

Jisung had heard from Hyunjin that someone new was joining their class so he wondered who it was and asked Felix about it, thinking he might know something. "I have no idea, Seungmin said Jeongin might have an idea of who it is though,"

"Hmm... I shall ask him about it tomorrow," Jisung muttered, as it was way past midnight.

"Why? Got over Minho yet?" And hearing of the way he was speaking, it was obvious to Jisung that the other had a smirk plastered onto his face.

He chuckled as he shook his head. "Sometimes I wish I was," His smile slowly turned into a serious expression. "He's making it so hard for me to get over him."

"Wait... did I miss something?" Felix asked questionably, eyebrows frowning, even though Jisung can't see him.

"You all missed a lot... but I don't feel like talking about it," Jisung sighed, wanting to say something totally different, but he couldn't, for some reason. He kissed me, twice. "Anyway, I'm gonna try and get some sleep, you should as well!"

Felix groaned, slightly. "Fine, mom," He spoke sarcastically, making both of them chuckle. "See you tomorrow at school."

"G'night," Jisung muttered, then turning off his phone and putting it on his nightstand next to him.

As he was trying to sleep, Minho's words kept repeating in his head. "The other day when I kissed you, I told you I didn't mean to; I lied."  The sentence was as simple as that, yet Jisung couldn't figure out the actual meaning behind it. What did he mean he 'lied'?

Something inside of him told him to still keep his distance from the elder, but he didn't want to do that. Minho deserved all the love he could get, his father wasn't going to be able to ruin his life anymore. He can't forbid someone to love his son.

But something also told him he was not going to act any different as he did before, which he shouldn't have to, because Minho specifically asked him not to.

His mind had gotten quite confusing through the past few weeks. Minho's actions in comparison to what came out of his mouth confused him, so he didn't know what to think about anything anymore.

[A/N]
Hi hellooooo!!!
I don't say this enough but I love all of you so very muchhhh <33

Thank you all so much for reading and supporting this story!! And thank you sososo much for +10k reads!!

Q: What's your mood right now, at this very moment?

A: I'm mf exhausted

To be continued ;)