The Hamilton Charm

Chapter 27

“Cassio I’m sorry, it’s Iver’s” I said with tears welling up in my eyes. I could see his heart shatter into a million pieces and fall to the ground around him as the once beaming smile fell from his face.

He didn’t say anything for awhile, he was frozen in shock. For every second that he didn’t speak my sobs just grew louder and louder. The other patrons in the restaurant were oblivious to what was going on. How I wished to be someone else right now so I didn’t have to look at the man whose life I just shattered. I felt like I was dying on the inside. Tears ran down my face in streams destroying my makeup.

His loud sigh pulled me out of my thoughts. He was looking down at the table and was holding the bridge of his nose with his forefinger and thumb. His shoulders were tense and his other hand was fisted in his lap. “How long?” He demanded with grief and despair lacing his voice. “Before or during?” he asked his eyes lifting to meet mine.

“I’m n-n-not sure” I stuttered my eyes shifting from his penetrating gaze. He banged his fist on the table and I jumped in fright. I had never seen Cassio act like this before but he had every right to be angry. He was showing a lot more restraint than I would have if I was in his shoes.

“How can you not know!” he growled. I wringed my hands together in my lap as I prepared my answer. But from the gasp that suddenly escaped him I knew that he had come to some realisation.

“How many times?” he asked his voice choking. “Once before we were going out” he sighed in relief but I wasn’t finished, “And also when I was in Rome” I whispered. I glanced at him and could see the tears welling in his eyes. “I wanted to tell you Cassio I really did but I didn’t have the courage” He ignored me.

“So when I proposed, did you even want to say yes” he asked clenching his jaw. “Of course I did! Cassio I loved you” I pleaded with him for him to understand. “Loved...” he repeated his voice trailing off as if it was too painful for him to finish. “What the fuck does he have that I don’t? You even said yourself that he was an asshole. You complained about him everyday to me and then you sleep with him while we were dating! I thought you hated that prat!” he exclaimed, his voice trembling. I had never heard Cassio curse before.

“Do you think I fucking wanted this Cassio? I know he is an asshole, a jackass and a downright conceited jerk but I love him okay. I don’t know why I just do. I’m pregnant with his fucking child Cassio!” I said crying. “I want it to be you so bad Cassio. I wanted you to be the man that I married, the man that I would have had children with. You are perfect Cassio. It wasn’t because of him having something over you; I was just a selfish bitch who didn’t realise what she had until it was too late.” I sobbed.

“Maybe you shouldn’t have fucking cheated then” he grunted and looked away. “Maybe we would be getting married and you would be having my children, instead of having some bastard child that’s going to grow up without a dad. Because lets face it if Hamilton didn’t want you once what makes you think he’d want you now. He bloody well skipped the country to get away from you!” He spat his eyes hardening to steel.

A chill ran down my spine at his words. Tears dripped from my face staining my shirt. I never knew that he could be so hurtful with his words. My heart cracked a little at his spiteful comment. He was right, there was no fairytale ending for me. I was just going to be another single mother and that was the most difficult job in the world. I wouldn’t be surprised if my parents never spoke to me again. How was I going to keep my promise to Ethan when I had a baby in the apartment as well? I wouldn’t have any help. Callie is soon to be married and will have problems of her own. And there was no way I was going to ask my sister or Hamilton for help.