Devastated (one shot)

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"Happy monthsary!" Yan ang narinig ko galing sayo pagpasok na pagpasok ko sa pintuan ng classroom natin. Kikiligin na sana ako but i remembered that that isn't for me. That's for her.

Narinig ko ang sigawan ng mga kaklase natin na nakapalibot sa inyo kaya nagmadali akong tumungo doon. Nakita kitang nakangiti at may dala kang bulaklak atsaka libro na kinahihiligan niya. Ang laki ng ngiti mo na hindi ko mapigilang ngumiti rin kahit ang sakit. Ang laki rin ng ngiti niya, at nagpapasalamat ako sa iyo because she never smiled that way for such a long time.

Nahagip mo ang mata ko at ngumiti ka sa akin. Tumango ako at nag thumbs up sayo. That's it. I thought. She'll like you more than you imagined, for sure. Thank me later.

Yes, all these, plano ko to, diba? May gusto ka sa kanya kaya naman tinulungan kita. Now, it's been a month since you've been together, ako pa rin ang nilapitan mo upang tulungan ka sa plano mo para sa espesyal na araw na ito. How pathetic of me right? I'm bringing pain to myself.

Palabas na ako ng school gate ng tinawag mo ako. Tumigil ako sa paglalakad at nilingon kita. Napakalaki ng ngiti mo at ang sakit-sakit. "Ericka," Tawag mo ulit. "Salamat, thank you very much. This happiness would not have been possible kung hindi mo ako tinulungan."

Tumango ako. "Of course. Anytime, Adrian." Magsasalita ka pa ulit, diba? But i dismissed you. Ang sakit kasi. "Sige, uuwi na ako. Bye!" Mabilis akong tumalikod at halos tumakbo na ako patungog sasakyan. Napakasakit eh.

Manhid ka ba o ano? Palagi mo kasi akong nasasaktan. Do you hurt me knowingly or unknowingly?

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"It's over." Yan ang status niya, pinakabago. Ano to? I asked myself. After 7 years niyo magbbreak-up kayo?

I checked your social accounts, you restrained from posting your photos together. Anong nangyari? I was so outdated kasi diba right after college nag abroad na ako? I pulled myself away from the pain. The last news i knew was, you were still together.

Of course, hindi mawawala ang mga messages niyo ng mga kaklase natin. How am i? Fine. Doing great. Where am i? I'm in London, for goodness's sake! When am i going home? Never, if that's possible but of course i will go home. Siguro when the time comes wherein saying your name wouldnt be as painful. Why did i leave? Ha. Dahil ang sakit-sakit. Isn't that obvious? What's my work? Manager. And you know what sucks?

I'm going home. May resort ang company that i'm working for there. I am obliged to handle it, i just hope i wont bump into you or her or any of our classmates. No. I dont want any connections with you. Masakit pa rin eh.

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"You're coming to my wedding naman diba, Ericka?" Asked Ate Alice. She's my eldest cousin. My closest cousin too.

"Of course ate. Ako pa naman ang made of honor. Diba beach wedding to? Just so you know.." I trailed off while laughing. "I'll be handling the resort where your wedding will be, Ate. I'll be there for a month."

"What?! Does tita and tito know this?! Oh gosh Ericka! Akala ko you'll just be home for a week!" Napakasaya ni ate kaya kahit labag sa kalooban kong umuwi, parang gusto ko na rin umuwi.

"Nope. I'll be there for a month."

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"Ateee!" I beamed habang pumasok sa kwarto ng bride. Si ate Alice.

"Ericka! Ang ganda mo! You look so happy. So blooming! Wow napakatagal na since i saw you this beautiful!" I laughed at her compliments but i cant help but look at myself and admire my aura today, too.

Simple lang naman ang suot ko. Isang tube dress na pastel green at flat shoes na puti. Ang buhok ko ay nakalow pony tail ngunit nakakulot ang dulo nito, may suot rin akong headband na color puti.