Thomas Brodie-Sangster Imagines

Newt: Hurt (pt. 2)

Newt POV

It had been over a month since I tried to kill myself, but I was getting better. Alby had made me second in command and it helped me a lot because I had a purpose now.

The only thing that wasn't right was y/n. Just the thought of her made a wave of guilt rush through my body. After I had woken up I had seen her beautiful face and those magnificent eyes filled with worry. I almost didn't jump because of y/n but I thought she could do so much better than me.

When I woke up I had yelled at her and I told her that I didn't care about her. That was a lie. I cared a lot about her. I thought that by pushing her away she wouldn't care if I died.

But I missed her. I bloody missed her so much. I couldn't even look at her because I thought I would just see eyes filled with hatred and I couldn't live with that so I avoided her by all cost.

It was nighttime in the Glade and I sat by the bonfire along with most of the other people. One person was missing and that was the most important person, y/n. I saw that she had become more and more isolated and I was worried about her but I just couldn't bring myself to apologize and tell her the truth.

I asked Minho to go check on her and ask if she wanted some food because she wasn't at dinner. Minho looked at me and worry filled his look. He agreed even though he told me I should go, but I didn't think that she wanted to see me.

I saw Minho walking towards her cottage. I used to come by there and talk to her. God I missed talking to her. To hear the sound of her voice and her laugh. Her laugh was the most beautiful sound in the universe.

I was deep in my thoughts but I was quickly pulled out when I heard Minho screaming my name. I quickly stood up. It was coming from y/n's cottage. I ran as fast I could with my limp.

When I got to the cottage and entered I was shocked. There sat my once cheerful and happy y/n on the floor in a pool of her own blood. I saw her eyes look at me and then they closed. I rushed to her side and knelt down.

"Y/N! WAKE UP! I NEED YOU TO OPEN YOUR EYES!" I practically screamed in her face. I couldn't lose her. Minho pushes me aside and checked for a pulse.

"She still has a pulse but it's weak. We need to get her to the med-jacks as fast as possible" he said. I nodded and stood up. Just when I was about to lift her up and run her to the med-jacks I felt Minhos hand in my shoulder.

"I'm faster" was all he said. I knew it was true but it still hurt. The fact that I wasn't able to help her hurt me more than a thousand grieved stings.

*timeskip*

I had been over a week since the incident happened and she still hadn't woken up. I blamed myself for this. I should have payed more attention to her. I shouldn't have let this happen.

No matter how hard Alby and the other boys tried to get me to leave her side I refused. Just the thought of leaving her horrified me. What if she died and it was all because of me. The only thing I ate was what the others brought me.

I felt so guilty. I wouldn't be able to live if I lost her. If she died I would go with her. She was my world and yet I had done this to her.

I was sitting in a chair besides the bed where she lay. I had one of her hands in my own and gently stroke my thumb across the backside of her hand. Suddenly she stirred and I say her eyes flutter.

Y/N POV

It was dark. Complete darkness. It terrified me. Where was I? Was I dead? No I couldn't be because I heard a sound. It was like a voice calling on me. I needed to wake up. I fought with all the reaming powers I had.

Suddenly I saw a blinding light. It took me some time to adjust to the light. I realized I was in the med-jack. I felt someone holding my hand.

"Y/N?.. yo-you're awake! Oh thank god I thought I had lost you" the voice said. I looked to the side and saw no other than Newt sitting beside me.

No no no. He was the last person I wanted to see. My plan failed and I was still here. "Why are you here?" I said my voice incredible hoarse.

He looked at me shocked. "What do you mean why am I here? You tried to bloody kill yourself. And I care about you, deeply. Why would you ever do something so stupid?! You have no idea what I've been through."

I chuckled "I have no idea what you are going through!? You did the exact same thing to me! When you tried to kill yourself I was by your side for days! I barely ate and only left your side when it was necessary! And yet when you finally woke up and I smiled, for the first time in what felt like forever, you told me you didn't care that I was the reason you were miserable. And you know what? That was what hurt the most!" Tears was flowing down my cheeks like waterfalls.

He didn't answer me, he just looked at me. Tears was streaming down his face too. "The last month have been hell for me. HELL! You were the only person I could talk to and you left me. You haven't even glanced in my direction. And you know what? Gally was right. He was right all along" i closed my eyes trying to keep the tears in but it was impossible.

When I opened them he looked at me confused. "What do you mean Gally was right?"

He didn't even know. "Before you tried to kill yourself every time Gally said something to me you were there. But you left. Everyday! Every single shucking day I heard Gally and his men tell me nobody cared for me and that I might as well just die. At first I tried to push it away. Deny it. But after a while I realized they were right. If I died no one would care. No one would shed a tear. No one would miss me."

I saw Newt's fist clench together in anger. "Why the bloody hell would you believe that shuck face! I WOULD MISS YOU! I'VE CRIED FOR DAYS BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU WOULD DIE! I CARE FOR YOU! I care for you more than you could ever understand." I had never seen Newt so angry.

"I love you y/n. You are my whole world. When I woke up after I tried to kill myself and saw your face I instantly felt regret because I thought I could leave you here alone. I felt so guilty I tried to push you away but looked what happened. I'm a bloody moron. If you died I wouldn't be able to live with myself."

I was shocked. I never thought he felt the same way. Before I even could comprehend what was happening I slammed my lips against him and kissed him with every ounce of passion I could muster and he kissed me back with the same passion.

When we finally pulled back he was smiling from ear to ear like an idiot.

"I love you too shuckface just don't ever. EVER. Hurt me again" I said also smiling

"I would never hurt you again. I promised. Now I have to leave you for a bit but I promise you I will be back" he said while standing up and walking towards the door.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going after the klunk that hurt you"

I took me a second to process his words and when I finally understood that he was going after Gally he was already out of the door.

"Newt! Wait! Come back!" I yelled as I stood up from the bed and ran after him.

I can't believe I had to save Gally...

THE END