Very. Very Short Stories

Aware

Making and maintaining friendships have always been difficult for me. From bigoted racists to people who are easily offended by everything, people have never been my forte. However, when it came to her, friendship was easy. Even before we graduated high school, she was always quick to respond to my moody retorts with something to lighten the mood.

I met her before she started working at the daycare- dark skin, a laugh that could be heard from across the tiny building, and gentle eyes- her sister had attended the after school care block and her mom had worked at the front desk at the same time. Nicole and I worked the after school care shift during the school year, until we graduated.

"Hey Bri, Nicole's already in with the preschoolers. Said something about some candy she wanted to pass out?" Nicole's mom, a big part of my life, the second person who pushes me to do my best (after Nicole herself of course).

"Thanks, mom, I'll go to stop her from doing that right now."

Walking into the room I hadn't expected to see Nicole putting candy bags into the children's cubby holes- I kind of just pictured her throwing it in the air and those psychopaths going wild, trampling over each other to get more than their buddies.

"Hey, uh what are you doing?"

She jumped, startled "Oh! I'm just giving the little boogers a going away thing. Something that says 'thanks for being the best kids ever' you know?" Watching her then, I knew how much she had changed my life, but I couldn't imagine walking into work one day and her not being there anymore. Not seeing her sitting on a seat way too tiny for her, coloring a page from one of the coloring books, drinking a juice box that was supposed to be for the kids.

"When's your last day again Nic?"

"Next Friday, I'm gonna miss everyone so much," her voice grew thick, "Mostly you and my family. I don't think I'm ready to be an adult, but I know I can't stay here forever."

I grabbed her and pulled her face into my chest, "You're gonna do amazing Nic, you're ahead of the game, 2 years of college already under your belt at 18. And at the end, we're going to take a much-needed vacation to Italy okay? Now stop crying, okay? The kids are coming soon and they'll start too if they see you." I remember squeezing her so tight wanting to never let her go.

When she left, I couldn't stop seeing her everywhere I went. In some Harry Potter backpack, when I saw a pair of converse, or whenever I heard a light, tinkling laugh. Her mom and I bonded over the loss we felt, even though we knew Nicole would come back.

"I miss her mom. I always pull an extra juice box out of the fridge until I forget she isn't going to be there to drink it." She was the one who convinced me to text her. We started texting and face timing every single day, and I learned so much about her. How she has the weirdest sense of humor, how she's my complete opposite, light wherever I'm dark. Understanding whenever I'm angry. How she's kind of dumb and likes to be flirtatious,

"You should let him take you on a date... or I'll take you on a date"

or the most out of context things like

"I'm riding behind a motorcycle gang right now and like, can you imagine, being in Italy in the mafia, laundering money and shooting guns while running a drug cartel AND looking hot as fuck on a motorcycle? Because I can.

"...aren't you supposed to be in class?"

"I mean yeah but that's not important.

Why do I attract stupid men?

Why am I okay w settling

for stupid fucking men"

"Opposites attract. Also bc UR stupid"

But it fits her. She's so smart, yet I'd swear she has some blonde strands in the mix of all her dark and coarse hair. I miss her.

But whenever she mentions coming home and hanging out, I freeze up and tell her that I'm fickle and I'll never stick to plans. Even though I'm the one who would always harass her and tell her to hurry home and that I missed her. I knew why. I knew that there was something more than what I was feeling but I was still in denial. Maybe I didn't actually want to feel this way and it was only convenient because she was always there. She was always telling me she loved me. Always pushing me to do my best and reminding me why I was working 40 hour weeks and taking 15 credit hours. She reminded me of what I was doing all this work for. When she came home to visit for the first time, she came back to the daycare and told me we were going to hang out after I got off.

"Mmmm, I'm feeling iHop. What about you?"

I knew she was never going to let up, "iHop sounds good.. but I'm driving. You're a crackhead." It was awkward, but sitting there in that booth talking about high school graduation and memories, and the stupid people we knew, watching her laugh as the sun over my shoulder hit her chocolate skin, giving her a soft glow, I knew. After she left this time I stopped trying to convince myself that I didn't love her.

"You remember when we went to iHop like a month ago and the waitress

put down the bill in front of you?

apparently they assumed we were in a relationship

and you were the 'TOP'.. idk wht to do with this information.

I'm sobbing this is so funny"

When she came back home to get her wisdom teeth removed, I told myself that it'd be harmless fun. I'd watch her spit words out of her ass way too fast for anyone to comprehend. I told myself that it wasn't an excuse to see her, to hold her when she got too emotional. I was only there to watch her get high as the moon off painkillers. Yet, she seemed alert, like she knew what she wanted to say like she was ready to risk it all. Her mom in the front, driving, and us in the back, Nic with her head in my lap.

"You know Bri, I think you're my soulmate,"

I told myself I wouldn't get to close,

"Like, all these boys out here treating us like shh- crap. We're the only people who really get each other. Also, I know you might want a say, but I already planned our wedding and I even built us a little house! Do you wanna see? I didn't actually build it I just found one on Zillow near the beach."

Her mom laughed, "Baby keep your mouth closed. You just had surgery."

"Surgery?! Bri" she gasped, "I had surgery?" she was saying so much, affecting me in the smallest ways. Making me flustered and picturing us together in our little house on the beach. In the Italian mafia, me driving motorcycles with her holding on to me. Imagining our hair flying behind us, not worrying about grades, diplomas, or relationships. Funny enough but she was supposed to keep her mouth closed.

"That's probably why I can't feel my mouf..."

"Dude close your mouth, and stop sticking your finger in there! Your gauze is gonna fa-"

"BRI! Why is there so much blood?" Her usually rich chocolate skin turned into a sort of paler grey color, a pause, and a whisper "Bri... why is my tongue not in my mouth anymore?" A piece of bloody cotton fell out of her mouth and soft tears started streaming down her face.

The calm before the storm. With her mom laughing in the background and Nic crying with snot coming out of her nose and tears streaming down her face like a river, I fell in love with her completely. Her mom kept trying to calm her down, attempting to not erupt in laughter "Nic baby girl, It's okay."

She kept crying, "Mom, it's not funny. Bri please I miss my tongue, how am I going to eat ice cream without a tongue." And I laughed and stated, "Love, if your tongue really fell out I'll give you my own. I promise." Even under all those painkillers, she understood.