I'm holding the pen over my notebook just staring at the blank page. Hmmm what resolutions to write for this year? I sit in this same position every year writing a list of pointless resolutions that I don't ever commit to. Just when I think of my number 1 my mobile rings, I let it ring for the first few seconds so it plays my new ring tone before picking up. Its Lottie my best friend since school.
"Saphie you have to come to the party with me! I cant just go alone i'd look like an idiot! and I have to go because Liam will be there and he loves me but doesn't know it yet and I want to show him what he hasn't realized exists...my sexiness! come on Saph, I love you and i'd do it for you! I thought you loved me and wanted me to be happy".
Ah Lottie again not coming up for air and using her incredibly annoying whiny voice to try and make me feel bad! Well not tonight Lottie I have things I need to do.
"Lottie I cant go you know this I've literally told you ten times over today that I have stuff to do and Toby is on his way home from work were going to watch a film, have a take-away and relax! probably see in the New Year in bed cos am knacked!".
I've told her at least ten times today I cant go to this stupid party! Toby's been working all day and I'm tired after a shift in the care home and there's no way Toby will let me go without him anyways, I just wish Lottie would stop pushing me all the time just because shes single and doesn't really have a life doesn't mean i don't have one to contend with!.
"You know what Sapphire? You can just go and watch a film with stupid Toby but you want some advice from your best and basically only friend in the world? Toby DOES NOT rule you and you NEED to get a life! your only 24 and your acting 70! Grow a pair Saph and GET A LIFE BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!".
With that she hangs up on me. Well thanks for that advice Lottie what a bitch some friend she is!. I give up on my list and go order a take-away for Toby coming in. Food sorted I set him off the bath and switch on the TV as I lie back on the couch I convince myself Lottie is just being bitter cos now she has no one to hang with at the party tonight , she'll come round when she calms down and probably ring me.
I'm sat clock watching it's 9.30pm surely Toby should be in by now? He finished at 7?.... I tell myself to stop worrying hes probably stayed late with being off tomorrow or bumped into a friend or fell off a cliff or ran his car into a gutter or lake.......OK Saph STOP get a grip! STOP WORRYING!. I turn on my fave TV show i have recorded to try and stop thinking. I checked my phone to see if I had any calls or messages....nada nothing, I send Toby a text to let him know every things OK at this end.
To Tubby Tobs>>>Hey babe, foods here, TV ready, bath run r u OK?....Luvs u S xx
10.30pm and I still have no reply so I go get a glass of coke and let the Stitch our springer spaniel out in the garden whilst I think what I should do. I send the same text again hoping he just never heard the beep and then I ring Luke. Luke is Toby's best best mate they've known each other years and if anyone would know where Toby is , Luke would they re in constant contact Luke picks up on the 5th ring.
"Luke hiya its Saph, Have you heard from Toby? just its 10.34pm and Tobs finished work at 7 and I haven't heard from him and he's not home?".
"Hey my little Sapphire no not heard from him dya want me to text him?". Luke slur's down the phone, I can hear voices and music and lots of noise, I take it he's at a party.
"yeah Luke that'd be great let me know tho right?" I say.
"No prob beautiful, you should come party Saph you never go anywhere no more". Luke's really boiling my piss now that's two people told me this in under 5hours!
"cheers for the invite petal but I'm not in the mood am worried about Toby would you please text him for me?and let me know ASAP if you her ANYTHING at all!". I didn't mean to snap but I'm getting very stressed now and Luke slurring and reminding me of what Lottie said was frustrating.
"will do Saph".....he pauses for a minute....."Saph? you know your too good to him right? bye Saph ill keep ya informed". With that he ends call. I just stare at my phone baffled by Luke's drunk performance. Oh well back to business. I'm really starting to worry by now It's 10.50pm and still nothing ! I ring Lottie back but there's no answer , I grab my car keys bundle Stitch into the car and set off for the garage where Toby works to see if they have any answers.
I drive the 30minute drive to Sasko's 24hour garage where Toby works day shifts and see that the lights are on and the main doors locked so either Anna or Tommy who Toby shift shares with must have taken over for the night shift. There's no one at the service window so I lock the doors on the car with Stitch inside and go into the little all night garage through the staff entrance at the back.
I walk through the stock room which is in darkness towards the staff room at the back where I can see a light shining through the door when I trip over something or someone. A groan comes from the floor and a girls voice says "what the fuck?..." I stumble forward and catch the light switch then land in a heap on the floor. I open my eyes to adjust to the light and look directly at Anna wrapped around Toby both half naked and looking like humping rabbits caught in headlights. I hear the clocks chime 12. Happy New Year.
Resolutions:
1. Dump excess baggage
2. Lose weight
3. Be beautiful
4. Get a grip on my own life
5. New job
6. Clean out the cupboard under the stairs
7. Re-decorate bedroom
8. Grow a pair
9. Follow abouve resolutions
10. Get over Toby
