NOMU (kiribaku)

Can I Still Love?

"Guys, I'm fine. I swear." Kirishima smiled as everyone kept asking how he's been doing.

"We're all just so happy you're back!" Pinky wiped away her tears with a smile.

"Mina, don't cry, I'm okay." He said softly.

"You have no idea how much we missed you.. This place was really depressing without you around." Straight-teeth said sadly.

"Heh, I'm back now, hopefully things can go back to normal." He smiled again.

The lunch bell rang and everyone headed out. I watched as the room cleared and Kirishima left after them. "Hey, can we talk?" I grabbed his arm in the doorway. He nodded and we left to the courtyard.

"Listen, man. I know what you're gonna say, you can save your breath." He sighed. "I don't need your pitty on top of everyone else's." He grinned with sad eyes.

"I'm just worried,... you're smiling, yes. but it seems fake.."

"Of course you'd be the one to notice.." He avoided eye contact and frowned.

"So, you're not over it.. Are you..." I looked at him softly as he stood a few feet in front of me.

"Listen Bakugou," he walked closer to me, staring at the ground. "I'm worried about something.. and it's been bothering me."

"...What is it.. Maybe I could-" he shook his head.

He looked up, and stared me in the eyes, with a sad expression, now standing very close to me. "I know we haven't talked about....us.. in a while,... but I have to know,.. I'm sorry."

He quickly closed his eyes and leaned forward, resting his hand on the side of my neck as our lips molded together. My eyes shut as our bodies pressed together and he pulled me even closer.

My hand rose and rested on his waist as he twisted my hair between his fingers. I wasn't thinking as any of this was going on. It was just me and him, everything else disapeared, and I was happy. He was back and he was safe. A smile formed on my face as a tear silently rolled down my cheek.

He pulled back for only a second before leaning in again. His hand fell to my shoulder and he fidgeted with the seams of my shirt.

I pushed my thumb under his shirt and brushed it against his soft skin. But he cut it all short as he pushed away and took a step back, taking my hand off his waist.

He wiped his mouth slowly, shaking his head as his eyes filled with tears. "I'm.. s-sorry,...." he cried looking at the ground.

He fell to his knees and covered his face as his tears started to fall. "I'm sorry.. I-I I thought I could just forget what happened, b-but I-he touched me s-so much that I.." He started sobbing and his words became incoherent.

I kneeled next to him. "No, it's okay, you need time and I understand that. You really have nothing to be sorry for.."

He shook his head, "I'm just so sorry...! I love you so much, it's not fair to you. I don't know if I'll ever be okay enough to try this again.. It's not fair.."

"Don't worry about it.. I understand if you can't be with me now... in a year......... or ever. .....I'll respect your feelings."

We stayed quiet as he cried his heart out. "Goodbye.." I said as I left him behind.....

--

A few days and everthing and everyone seems to be going back to normal again. Kirishima and I have barely spoken, but it's probably for the better, he needs his space and he's smiling more now.

My chest hasn't stopped aching since we kissed though; I would never forget what was said afterward, and the sorry look on his face. He was never far from my thoughts, I would always think of him when I wake up, before I went to bed, and every minute of every day.

....until Friday rolled around.. Then my father had forced other thoughts into my head.

After the bell rang and the students started packing up and heading out I turned to him. "....Deku.." I said quietly, staring out the window.

"Um..Yeah, Kacchan?" ,he squeaked.

"I tried... I tried to warn you, you shouldn't have shown your true power.."

"W-what do you me-"

"Just come with me, de-Midoriya.." I turned and headed out the door, head hanging low with a frown. He gathered his things and followed shortly after.

"K-kacchan, what's wrong? You're acting strange.." he said with a worried tone as we sat in the back seat of the black car.

"...You already know my situation.. Don't make this more difficult..." I gazed out the window as the scenery flowed by as we passed buildings, trees, signs, and a lake.

"Kacchan..?" He tried to get my attention and the doors slammed shut as we reached the military base.

"I'm sorry for keeping all this from you.. and for what's about to happen. ....Just comply and you'll be fine." If they were able to update the machines. I added mentally.

He nodded with a worried but trusting look and we headed inside.

He and I were tied down, the machines started humming as the red light on the wall started blinking. "Please don't die.." I muttered to myself just before the room was filled with screams once again.

My eyes clenched shut as I couldn't bare to look over at the green haired boy across the room. It didn't take long for a metallic taste to fill my mouth, I shot forward and caughed it up.

Ten minutes. I listened to Midoriya scream for ten minutes as I caughed on my own blood and todays lunch. This fucking torture lasted ten. Fucking. Minutes. My stomach churning, head ringing, chest burning, throat sore, and body aching.

My heart stopped as I heard the room fall silent and the surging pain stopped. I couldn't bring myself to look across the room, afraid to see the limp body of the friend I lost years ago.

I clenched my fists and kept my eyes shut tightly as I waited to be untied and leave this death chamber. The guards removed the restraints and I sat up slowly, looking down at the floor.

I bit my lip as my eyes filled with tears and I rose my head to gaze across the room..... he's breathing.. He's passed out, but I can see him breathing..