DAYDREAM | JUNG HOSEOK

1: The start

It all started when I was 6 years old. I kept meeting one certain boy in my dreams every single day until now.

It happened all of sudden and at first I thought that I was dreaming about this boy coincidentally, but as the time was passing by, I've realized that it wasn't a coincidence. As a little girl, I believed it was a destiny, and that's what I believe in until now.

I never told anyone about this because dreams were part of my world and I feared that after telling someone, he would disappear from my dreams.

I was always easily scared of the loss he would make which is why I was distant of him at first, but with the time passing by, we developed an unbreakable bond between us. Both of our fears were the same; the disappearance of the other half.

Flashback of the first vision;

My parents were arguing in the kitchen while I was locked in my own bedroom. As a 6 year old me I didn't understand what their arguments were about, and the following day when I was eating my dinner, they were at it again. It was the first time I have ever had a balnk expression on my face that made me space out.

And once I spaced out, I was enveloped in whiteness. I was confused at why I was there, but the next thing I knew, I was in a field of dandellions. It made me smile back then because I loved flowers and I loved the scenery as I started to run around. But I was stopped by a little boy's voice that was speaking different, yet very common language.

"Who are you?" he asked cautiously as I turned around to look at him. He was speaking Korean which made me confused because my family lived in Hawaii, but since I was half-Korean and half-hawaiian, I understood him well because my mother would speak a few words to me in Korean so I would know a second language.

"My name is Jiae, what about yours?" I asked with a hesitance. He showed me one of his bright smiles, "I'm Hoseok!" he said happily which made his caution from before disappear.

After that my daydreaming was interrupted by my father who was shaking with me aggressively. My mom was screaming in the background at my father to not touch me. He threw me off the chair which made me hurt my head in the process. I was knocked out, but before that I heard my mom scream agonically.

I was again in the field of dandellions together with Hoseok, but he was sitting on the ground which must have meant that he was probably waiting for me, "Oh! You're back!" he said as his smile widened, but his face soon darkened as soon as he looked at me. Since I didn't have a mirror, I didn't know how I looked like, "What happened to you?" he said as he ran towards me.

End of the flashback

I was abused by my father for most of my childhood. The trauma stayed but I had Hoseok beside me which made feel reassured.

When I was 15, my mother remarried to become happy again. But sadly enough for me, my mom and biological father were switching me after one week. I hated spending my time with father because he always abused me - he put the blame on me for my mom's new marriage by beating me up.

I hated the fact that my bruised and injured self always appeared in Hoseok's dreams as well. He always saw the miserable state I was in which made him worried. The worst scenario was when Hoseok would approach me and touch me. Touch in our dream-state made you look into the person's day that you were touching which made it impossible to ever hide something from each other.