Inside the mind of me

Chapter 2

I soon saw my dad walk through the foyer and I stopped sweating. His hair was turning gray, and a faux smile that didn't reach his eyes. He tries so hard to be happy for Gracie after mom died. He smiles no matter what and hopes that his true feelings didn't reach his eyes. I should know, I feel the same, but probably even worse.

"Hi daddy!" Gracie ran to our father. He laughed and swooped her up into a giant bear hug.
"Hi baby! How has my little munchkin been?" My dad asked after he stopped laughing.
"I'm happy that your home now daddy!" She told him as he put her back down on the floor. When her feet hit the ground she went back to the tv. My dad closed his eyes letting out a light sigh. Not the I'm tired I want to sleep sigh, no this was a I'm tired of this life of lying sigh.

My dad finally opened his eyes after what seemed like forever. When he noticed me he just nodded his head looking pained. Then he just walked away. No hug, no hello, no nothing, just a small nod to show that he knew I was there.

I should be used to that look by now. It's almost the only look I get from him. But I'm not used to it. How can I get used to it? But no matter. It's not like anything will change that face, it's not like I can bring my mom back.

Now it's my turn to sigh as I trudged my way back up the stairs and into the seclusion of my room. My room is pretty typical in my opinion. The full bed in the corner with its black and purple sheets stand out against the plain colored walls. With a miniature walk-in closet on the opposite side of the room, and pictures, drawings, poems lining my walls. There's a desk near the window and a shelf full of books.

I make sure my curtains are drawn tight as I head over to my closet to get clothes for the day. I found black skinny jeans, a baggy black sweatshirt, and a black beanie that says whatever on it. I head to the bathroom to take a shower. I make sure the water is scolding hot when I step in. I feel it wash over my body taking all the negative thoughts away for a minute. Then I noticed the scars on my legs and arms, the memories coming back full force. I start to feel my breathing becoming heavy and shut if the water my breaths ragged. I stumble ought of the shower and rap my towel around my shivering body.

After taking a few moments to recover I dry off and get ready for the day. Once I'm ready with my clothes on, black converse tied, and hair in a low ponytail I make my way back down the stairs. Once I reach the bottom I see my dad passed out on the couch. I chuckle to myself and put a blanket over his shoulders. I make my way to the door after kissing his forehead. I grab my backpack from the hall tree and begin my long trudge to West Wilton High school.