Once upon a time. I loved a guy.
He also loved me.
We're both contented on what we have, happy with our relationship but there was time that we need to decide whether of the two is more important..
Our feelings for each other or our friendship?
I made up my mind. That day we talk.
"I think we should stay like this. As friends. I want you to stay beside me and I can't afford If I lose you." He's words is like I'm being stab hundred times.
"Yeah. Friends." I'm kinda relieve because we're just texting so he doesn't see how PAIN is being written all over my face.
"Is it okay with you?"
NO! ITS NOT! I wanted to cry but no. No I'm not going to cry. Not now or ever.
"Yes of course. It's okay kuya." I lied. Now I'll be his little sister. We're not blood related I just call him kuya formality because he's older than me.
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Months passed by and I felt like I can't take it anymore. We stayed as sibling. I'm his little sister and his my big brother.
Am I hurt? If other people problem were being in a friendzoned, well my case was different . I'm in a sisterzoned. Funny right?
It hurts like hell. He had move on and I'm not. Seeing him courting other girls makes me wanna kill those sluts.
Now I'm regreting it. I could have just tell him that I want him. I need him, I love him.
Then one day, suddenly he has gone . I tried to contact him but it was no use. He abandoned me. I was dumbfounded. What did I do for him to hurt me?
Maybe I'm so stupid. Stupid enough to be fooled by him. I didn't expect that this day would come. He's actually gone .... Like he's already dead.
I'm hopeless then I decided to stop looking for him. And now I can say I'm okay. I guess?
Yes I still like him and I'd be lying if I say I don't miss him.
I fucking miss him! I miss him so much. I want to see him
And after 6months he's back. He came back when I was okay. When I was already ready of letting go. Fuck! Why is he like that? Why? Why does he get back? All of the agony, hurt and pain he has given me, and now he's back, pretending like nothing happened between us.
He tried to talk to me but I ignored him. Just like what he did to me.
I want to ask him why, ' why did you leave me behind? And now I was still thinking. What happen to US? Why did you leave me? Why are you scared of fighting for me ? Your scared that we might not end up together and become strangers after? That you might lose me? But now you already did. I'm no longer on your side.'
This are all my questions but I didn't bother to ask him. Now I'm thinking if he really loved me or he just said it for me not to let go. To make me feel that I'm special even I'm not. For him to have someone to talk to when he is bored.
But it's my fault because I let him play with my heart. I believe and do what he say. I became he's human puppet. I'm the idiot who love him and he is the only jerk broke my heart.
Now I'm still trying to forget him. It's really hard but I don't want to see myself crying for a stupid reason and wrong person.
Even I miss him. I'm not going to let him enter my life once again. Not now or ever.
THE END.
