To Feel Nothing

The knife

i've been holding

has a stained of blood

i let it dried

droplets of blood

everywhere

the white sheet

of my bed

the floor

but just one wash

and the stained

would be

gone away.

My left hand

hurts

right besides

my pulse

it stings

more blood

a lot of blood

i now felt

dizzy

sleepy

numbed

i could

barely heard

the sound

of the pouring rain

outside my window

just the right moment

i've been

waiting for

so long

to feel nothing.

The cut

in my left hand

deep

pained me

it hurts

but just one tablet

of pain reliever

and the pain

would be

gone away

in time

will

get healed

eventually

only scar

will remained.

My heart

wounded

hurt

stabbed

shuttered

broken

so badly

it hurts

inside

unlike my cuts

no pain reliever

can ease

this pain away.

I am

tired now

tired of waiting

don't want to

feel this pain

anymore

no one

can rescue me

now

just as i plan

the right moment

i've been waiting

for so long

to feel nothing.