Umm, so angst... "It's over isn't it" from Steven Universe.
Keith looks at Lance and Allura from afar, sullen as they chat and laugh. The circles under his eyes deep and dark, a deep sigh sounds from him. Why her? He thought Lance was getting along with him well lately, hope for something more than what they had. Hope for something more than the bickering and fighting.
I was fine, with The Men
who would come into her life, now and again
I was fine, cause I knew
that they didn't really matter until you
Sure there was Lance's insistent flirting with everyone, but none of that had mattered. They were all one-night stands, yet Allura was something Lance couldn't get over. He couldn't stop his flirting when it came to her. You'd think a Princess shooting you down for years in space would've stopped him, it didn't.
I was fine when you came
and we fought like it was all some silly game
over her, who she'd choose
He was fine before it all became serious. Fine with the way he and Allura would bicker about the team. He was fine with the way Lance picked at him despite his voiced discomfort. He sighs again, eyes trailing Lance. Tracking his movements unconsciously.
after all those years, I never thought I'd loseIt's over... isn't it?isn't it?
Isn't it over?
Keith's stomach drops when he sees Lance dip Allura, it churns when he sees their lips meet. His lip quivers when he sees Allura kissing back with such fervor. His legs shake as he walks away from the scene.
It's over, isn't it?
isn't it?
Isn't it over?
you won and she chose you and she loved you and she's gone
Keith books it to his room aboard the Atlas, eyes filling with tears as his door slides closed. He shakes as he collapses in the floor. He was never going to be with Lance now, not with the way he's happy. Not with how Allura didn't hesitate to kiss back. He didn't understand, when had they gotten close?
It's over, isn't it?
why can't I move on?
war and glory, reinvention
fusion, freedom
It had been months, why couldn't he move on from Lance. He can't move on from those blue eyes, his perfect smile, his plump lips, freckles, curly hair, tantalizing hips. Everything was too addictive, Lance was like sugar. Too good to quit.
her attention
out in daylight, my potential
bold, precise, experimental
Who am I now in this world without her?!
petty and dull with the nerve to doubt her
what does it matter it's already done?!
Keith didn't even know who he was anymore. Every day spent daydreaming about something that could've been. He wanted, no, needed Lance. Everything about him was too perfect, too good to forget. He wanted to forget.
now I've got to be there for her son
it's... over, isn't it?
isn't it?
isn't it over?
it's over, isn't it?!
isn't it?!
isn't it over?!
you won and she chose you and she loved you and she's gone!
it's over, isn't it?
why can't I move on?
it's over, isn't it?
why can't I move on?
Why can't he move on...?
so basically I relate!! uwu
anywho I'm prolly gonna disappear soon for a bit, not for sure, but I think I'm going to take steps to getting more help, especially since I relapsed. So don't be surprised/worried if updates stop for like a week or so.
