u s e l e s s | my thoughts

2.17 am [13.10.18]

Alright, so... let's dive right into it.

There are lots of moments where I

found myself thinking about ending it

all cause I don't see any light in front

of me.

There is just this black, never ending

tunnel which is my life.

On some lonely days there is this

thing in my brain which tells me that

it can't get even more worse and I can

only get better starting from now on.

And these are the moments when I

feel hope inside my chest. Beating like

a second heart. I mean, that's a great

feeling but it's all very short living

and just in the time of a blink I get

back in this cold, dark hole. It took a

while to realize that this isn't

temporary like a bad day that goes

away like a normal headache. That it's

something long lasting and that it

doesn't get better anyway. So...there

where only two ways I can

take at the moment. The first one

where I'm searching some help and

hope it's getting better in a short time

with some good help by my side and

then there is the other one. The easier way.

So...the first plan failed. I went to a

Therapist but we didn't match this

well and he gave up his work. So

yeah. There's only one last way left,

right ? I wanted to do this since a long

time but there are still my friends and

my family which I don't want to get

hurt or to feel guilty because of me.

But yeah...Someday I'm going to

attempt suicide.
-
corjic

Guys, i just wanted to tell you that i'm alright. I atempted suicide two times but i failed both of them. I have an amazing boyfriend and caring friends by my side and i feel like it's getting better, at least a little bit. I don't know if i'm ever going to be completely happy and okay with myself but i feel like i'm in a good way and it will get better someday.

Stay Alive.