.''Than what are you?''.

-12-

 Quinn's pov:

I was walking around the forest singing to myself, wanting to be a bit alone right now.

Scars, that's all I have
Pain, that's all I feel
People stop and stare
But they have no idea
And through these tears
And through this pain
I will stand once again


'Cause I may be homeless, but not hopeless
Fatherless but fearless
I've got myself, I've got my freedom
But I'm searching for my home
'Cause I am hurting, but not helpless
Full of strength and scars
I'm out here in the darkness
Looking for a light to call home
Looking for a light to call home


Fear, that's all I own
Smiles don't come so easy
I'm out here all alone
You've got it good, believe me
Through these tears
And through this pain
I will stand once again


'Cause I may be homeless, but not hopeless
Fatherless but fearless
I've got myself, I've got my freedom
But I'm searching for my home
'Cause I am hurting, but not helpless
Full of strength and scars
I'm out here in the darkness
Looking for a light to call home
Looking for a light to call home


Strong, that's what I am
Okay, that's what I will be
You might not understand
But I won't let that define me


Cause I may be homeless but not hopeless
Fatherless but fearless
I've got myself, I've got my freedom
But I'm searching for my home
Cause I am hurting but not helpless
Full of strength and scars
I'm out here in the darkness
Looking for a light to call home
Looking for a light to call home
Looking for a light to call home
Looking for a light to call home  

I stopped walking and with a comical battle cry, roundhouse kicked a tree, breaking the trunk in half, I brought my hand up and elbowed another tree making a big dent in it but not break it, I punched it with my fists until it broke before backing away and screaming at the sky in anger.

I fell on my knees as I stared up after I stopped screaming, I wasn't weak I won't cry, I'm not pathetic like he says I am, I am not like father says I am..... I'm not.... I always had trouble dealing with my emotions, mostly hurt. I hated crying, it made me weak so I turned to anger, harsh and destructive anger, to try to ease the ache in my heart.

All the changes that happened in my life in such a short amount of time wear heavy to bear, all I had learned was crumbling, I can't deal with these emotions, I don't know what to do.

Jealousy towards Jefferson.

Annoyance towards school.

Fear towards my old pack.

Friendship towards Max.

Love towards mom.

Protectiveness towards the twins.

Dislike towards Hans.

Bond towards Bea.

Mistrust towards the pack.

Hate towards my father.

Confusion towards myself.

I just couldn't deal with them, it was too much, I didn't want all these emotions.

Bea's pov:

It's been a few days since that Alexis girl.... Eh more like Quinn's mother came in and since then Jeffy was a bit more serious with other vampires and even the pack, so that war they were talking about really is nearing.

"I still don't understand why I got to be here." Quinn grumbled as she sat next to Mars who had decided she was another new bestest friend of hers.

"Because you are our friend from now on." She rolled her eyes, even for someone who doesn't need sleep she seemed tired and so done right now, something happened in the night or in the morning to make her this irritable which didn't help with my temper.

"So seems we will be together huh miss stare?" I asked.

"Yeah miss jealous." I glared but she winked, I turned away, feeling uncomfortable for some reason. I heard Jeffy hiss and she hissed back.... Stop hissing at Jeffy you sexy asshat!!

"Before you three start to fight don't even.... So you blood wolves can't be killed right?" Nico saved us from going at each other's throat.

"Yeah well we can but only definitively when burned."

"Just like vampires."

"Yeah but you can also count dead if your body is torn apart, technically it could count for us too but our consciousness remains while you are like asleep until put together again and your broken parts heal together, only then do you wake up, we are conscious the whole while, almost like just a mind, thoughts, if the damage is too big, you will never heal if you get your insides ripped out, they need to get shoved back inside you and then you heal, you could rip my insides out as many times as you wish and I will regenerate new ones."

"How do you know this?" I asked softly for some reason and grabbed her hand before my mind noticed what my body did but I didn't pull away or it would have seemed strange, I was just trying to get along with her, yeah that's right, just getting along.

She didn't answer my question, looking down, eyes glossed over.

Quinn's pov:

"Pathetic worm!! No child of mine will be so weak!! You are a shame to my name!!"

"Let me go!!" I screeched as I fought against the hold he had on my hair. "I'm not your kid!! You are not my father!!" Tears were rolling down my face, he made me fight his general who ripped off my leg in anger and he was mad at ME for letting it happen.

"You little shit will learn to respect me!!" He grabbed my arm tightly and stomped on my chest, easily making my rib cage cave in, I couldn't scream as my lungs were crushed and he ripped my arm off. "THIS WILL TEACH YOU RESPECT!!!" He yanked me up and grabbed my neck and hair again and started to pull.

I hit him as hard as I could as I felt the skin on my neck crack like ice before I was beheaded.

I later 'came back' all fixed in my mother's arms as she hugged me tightly against her chest muttering how sorry she was for everything, I just laid my arm over hers with my head against her chest, also crying in fear and pain as she continued whispering comforting things to me.

"QUINN!!!" I snapped out of the memory and looked up at Mars who was waving her hand in front of my face. "Are you alright? You spaced out there, I've been calling you for at least five minutes."

Looking around the table, all four friends were looking at me.

"It's fine, just lost in thoughts." I muttered, rubbing my forehead.

"Qui--" "I said I'm fine!" I cut off harshly and no one else bothered me, I took a deep breath and blinked away the tears because of the memory.... This will be a long year....