TO THE PAST ME

One day he just got up and left me at the bar all by myself. I had no idea what to do I just stood there confuse. The pain I felt was terrible, I told myself it's not today, don't leave today, I couldn't find myself all lonely all again. I couldn't find myself present today, I just wish this day just disappear in time. Cause I told myself its not today, why leave me here today. I stood their crying my eyes out, I felt I was losing myself watching his back turned on me and walking away. Why couldn't you stay here with me, just laughing at our memories?

A lonely soul, I have now , my heart all burnt to crisp and dark, it seeps black blood. I was in my own world until you walked in. That's when I decided to let go of the past and fade away like dust, in a small room or fly away like a butterfly. I stood and decided to walk away from this so call nice world. I been watching him, and couldn't stop staring at him little did I know my heart would break in a thousand pieces. Those light blue eyes had my soul swallowed in those ocean eyes. His face , it was time to forget him, forever.

A new person, who help me found my way came into my life. Someday I hope to find the one who broke me into pieces but I want to thank the one who glue me back together. It's a long story how he helped me, yet he brought me back to life somehow. When the one who disowned me in a bar, when I was all alone ready to die, he gave me the air to breathe. I had walked out ready to face the grim reaper, I was ready to walk into the highway and let my body fly ten feet in the air, but he held my hand and led me away. At that time I didn't want to be me anymore, I felt stifled, I just wanted to disappear to mars, but he wanted me to stay.

If my tears could have been bottled, I would have let that bastard drink it and let my poisonous tears kill him slowly, cause I wouldn't want to be him anymore. I should be thankful of the one who save me, and give him a reward for keeping a soul in earth, yet I feel anger, hatred and disgusted by him at first. I wasn't in my right mind, I was clueless as always. I wanted to be set free from this horrible life , but when he saved me I was kind of grateful, I could live a better life that I wouldn't be bored of it. His smile just couldn't let me remained angry at him, I wasn't afraid to live anymore watching him live without be regretful and revengeful made me think twice about.

I just wanted a certain person out of my mind, all I needed was to be set free. My mind was all over the place at that time, only thinking about helping a certain person yet , here I am working on being a better me, with the person who save me from falling to the gutter. I don't mind being the real me anymore, here I am giving new people a chance, yet I am not forgiving people that easily. I couldn't just leave this world when I have to take my revenge on someone. Who knows I might be the one leaving someone at the bar now?