Deception

Heyy :) So this is my first Short Story, which has been entirely completed! I apologise, its not that long :) Please tell me what you think of it?

So I used this for my English Course at School and got an 'A' in my Highers but I really need some confidence in my writing right now so please, PLEASE, PLEASE....

COMMENT AND VOTE.... if you think this deserves it :)

Anyways, here it is ....

*********************************************************************

The streets were eerily quiet. A lone figure slinked skilfully, undetected past the stragglers who still littered the cobbled paths.

            The darkness weighed down on him, acting like a cloak of invisibility, masking his presence, muffling his footsteps.

            A sly grin crept across Noah’s face as his hawk-like golden eyes scanned the familiar surroundings, before zeroing in on a distinguishable figure.

            His smile widened sadistically, twisting his sharp, handsome features into a cruel, cold, calculating mask.

            He kept his word. His piercing gaze never abandoned the illuminated figure. He watched from his hiding place as the miserable excuse for a human being, commenced a nervous pacing, occasionally running his grubby hands through his shaggy copper coloured hair. His big brown beady eyes scrutinized the shadows looking for any signs of deception. However, they found none.

            Noah glanced around, trying to locate the signal which so far had not appeared. The shiny silver buttons on his pristine, navy blue, detective uniform glistened in the faint, orange glow that furnished the dubious looking, cheerless alleyway. He sighed inaudibly, slightly irritated with the incompetence of his fellow co-workers.

            His golden eyes hastily snapped back to glare at the still pacing man before him. Hatred swelled within his toned body and he felt his fists clench at the thought of what this very animal took away from him: his kind hearted, devoted and dependable younger brother, had been murdered in cold blood at the hands of this deceitful turncoat.

Guilt still besieged Noah, as memories of Nate flashed rapidly through his incisive mind; as if it was a news reel on a constant repeat. Nate had always idolised his older brother. The idea of joining the police force had been an idea influenced by the successes of Noah himself. They had always had a fierce, resilient and somewhat effortless bond. Noah had stepped up to fill his father’s position, when the man himself had so easily disappeared from their lives right after Noah’s seventh birthday. Noah had always supported his younger sibling with divine care and attentiveness. Now… he no longer could.

Indignantly he raised his chin and narrowed his eyes; the cruel smirk at once returning to his expression. You will get what you deserve, he thought viciously, without any remorse.

Tension rolled off Noah in waves as he continued to observe the traitor, concealed by the shadows. The signal was yet to be given and he found every passing moment harder and harder to bear. His brother’s murderer was so close, within Noah’s reach; he could not let him slip through his fingers as he had so effortlessly done countless times before.