"So you're Donna?" the principal asked me.I just nodd.It was the first day after summer holidays.This year i'll be in grade 11."Nice to meet you Donna.I hope that you will like our school.I know your parents gave us all information but would you mind if i go through the sheets with you?" i just said okay."Okay then.You are 16 years old and-" someone was yelling from the hallway."I'm really sorry, but i need to look after that.I'm sure everything's right.Here is your timetable.Have a nice day!"And with that i was left in the principals room.
Puh.Okay so my first lesson is ... English.I was standing in the hallway and i tried to figure out where my locker is.For my sake they already gave me all the books.Nr 283.I opened the door of my locker and took my english book out.
I have 20 minutes left.Lets find the room.Nr 12.That was pretty easy 'cause it was like 3 meters from my locker.I went through the book to see the topics we're going to do.I.E. there was Shakespeare, Edgar Allan Poe and some german writers Goethe and Shiller.That was great.Suddenly there was a loud ringing and the floor was full students.I just stood there and looked after all the people.It sounds cliche but you could see who was popular, who was in the middle and the outcasts.I really wished that i would stay invisible for the rest of my school life.It would be so much easier if i wouldn't have any friends 'cause that means i wouldn't have to socialize.And just when i finished that thought a group of girls stopped right in front of me.The worst was to come.They started talking.Shit."Hey you!You must be new otherwise you should know that that is our spot." okay, that was the school slut and her friends.I always thought this would just happen in movies.But okay."Shut the fuck up and fuck off you arrogant, extensions using, daddys princess, push up bitch." i said as calm as possible."What?!" she furrowed her brows.She had no clue how stupid she looked.By now a huge group of people was around us.She had 2 friends with her.They looked as stupid as her."You heard right.I'm sorry that daddy couldn't buy you a brain.I would write it down for you but i'm sure you couldn't read it." I was really calm.That was a side of me i really liked.In stressfull situations i stayed calm."By the way what is your and your slaves name, Barbie?" And just when i thought they couldn't look stupider their mouths dropped in sync."Hahahaha" i couldn't stop laughing.
The kids around us started laughing too.Wow what just happened.One of her companions said "I"m Ashley, this is Britney"-she pointed to the blonde one in front of me who was the leader bitch-"and this is Tiffany."
Aha.Bitch names.Ashley had a really posh accent.Mine was a strange mix of american and irish."Okay.I'm Donna.Now listen, I give a shit about you and you like attention.If you want attention go anywhere else but not here.And i warn you if you ever talk or even look at me you're going to need a really good plastic surgean.So, don't mess with me!".They all nodd.And that's when the bell rang.Students where rushing into classrooms and i was left alone in the hallway.I waited for the teacher.
I had so much luck.I don't want to get into trouble like in my old school.I have only this chance left."Excuse me, can i help you?" That must be my teacher."Yes, hello.My name is Donna and I'm the new student."He nodded."So, do i have to stand up in front of the class and tell them something about me?"I asked.I really hate that."No i will just say that you're our new student and that's it." Okay i was fine with that."By the way, my name is Mr. Brown."I shook his hand."Okay walk in i will wait some seconds so they wont think that you're the teachers pet."He was really okay.I muttered "Thanks."
And with that i walked in.Suddenly everyone stopped talking.Luckily there was a free seat at the end of the room.I didn't looked at anyone but they looked at me.I sat down then Mr. Brown walked in.I drew the entire lesson.I couldn't pay attention to him or anyone.My thoughts were swinging and suddenly i felt really down.I still have 3 hours to go.
The bell rang and i grabbed my bag and rushed out of the room to my locker.
Next lesson is... Arts!Hopefully my teacher is just going to talk.It's the first day!I haven't talked to anyone yet.
I had 20 minutes break.I looked for the stairs that lead you to the roof.
It was so noisy in here.And too much people.I need to be alone.
I found a door with a 'No Trespassing' sign.
This signs never kept me away from anything.I opened the door and was greeted by a fresh breeze.
Wow.Finally I'm alone.
That was how i spent my break and the ones that were to come on that day.My last period was Chemistry and when the bell rang i rushed out of the room, to my locker and grabbed my skateboard to skate home.
I don't want to go home.Once I'm in I can't go out.And my parents and my siblings.
I arrived at the big apartment building.We had a small flat
with 3 bedrooms.I have to share one with my 14 years old brother.In the other room my 12 and 10 years old brothers slept.I hated all of them including my parents.They all worked and my brothers were in school till 4 o' clock so at least i would have 2 hours of silence.I pressed the power button on the xbox and pulled the Battlefield 3 disc in.I would never play the campagne.It was lame.Hours later the doorbell rang and i shut down the xbox and went to the door to open it.All 3 of my brothers marched in including my mum."Hi" i muttered.And that was everything i would say to my mum.We ate and my brothers were the only one talking.My mum would ask questions and thats it.My mum seemed nice but she wasn't.She would hit me if i would tell her how i feel.That happened often in the holidays.My dad too.We stayed at home.The whole day.So thats why i would never tell anyone how i feel.They won't understand.I washed the dishes and went to my room.
I can't concentrate but i need to get this homework done.I don't want to repeat last years mistake.
When i finished it was 6 pm.And the doorbell rang.I went to open it and again "Hi" was the only thing i said to my dad.He was working 13 hours a day and i was fine with that.He went to the kitchen with my mum and she would talk while my dad would eat.When he finished i went from the living room to my room.I try to avoid any contact with them.
I went to shower and i needed to shave.When i took the razor i started crying.This would happen everytime.
Sounds like I'm depressed but i use to cut.I'm clean since 6 months and i don't plan on going back.I don't have any scars left.I told my parents when everything escalated and my dad nearly killed me.He stopped and they were nice for a week but then everything went to normal.I just wouldn't talk anymore.They never talked about that again.
My mum brought my younger brothers to bed at 9 pm and came to us at 10 pm.My brother would sleep.I would stay awake for the whole night like always.I would listen to music.The only thing that keeps me alive.I used to play guitar but i got better and now i need a new one.They would give a shit.
And then I would give a shit.
