The Dirty High Society✔

Page 32

" Change that face Monika, from when they started cracking jokes on the new  couple of Utkarsh and Tina, your face looks more sad now" 

"It's nothing like that mom, I don't even care" yes, both of them deserve each other. 

"if you don't care then go ahead and get married to Kamal Ji, recently he proposed you and you didn't give him any proper answer till now"

" because I don't know how to say no to him, he is very kind to me "

"and why you need to say no to him. He is so good, intelligent and understanding. He is just a bit older than you, but age is just a number" 

" The thing is not that mom, I, I don't think I can make anyone happy in my life or can be happy in my life ever again. I am becoming used to my depressive life, also getting irritate over small things and scolding everyone without any reason, Nothing makes me happy anymore"

"Nothing is like this, you just stop overthinking, now everything is fine"

"It only looks like everything is fine! "

But I am not fine mom. I am sick,  my emptiness is eating me from inside. Fear of losing you is increasing day by day. I don't want to act strong anymore. I want to tell you what the doctor has told me about you. I want to tell you about the panic attacks that I recently started having. I can't sleep at night. Bad dreams are chasing me from everywhere. Like I am falling from a roof and sometimes drowning in the ocean. She wanted to share so many things to her mother but sharing her misery was not the best thing to share.

It's only her anger that helped her to keep herself, detach emotionally from all the bad things happening in her world. But with time her anger was attacked by panic.

Panic of losing Avantika, maybe Utkarsh also.

Stay strong Monika today is not the day to lose this battle, save it for some other day. Like that she pushes herself to work and tackle the unwanted situations in her life.

But it was not possible when she found Utkarsh always staring at her, finding ways to cross her, trying hard to get her attention. She liked the fact that Utkarsh was making an effort, he was giving her attention. Always deep inside her heart, she wanted him to feel for her. To go head over heels for her. To win her. But at the same time, she wants to win by rejecting him. Because Monika never forgives who ditches her.

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"Utkarsh"

A very screeching voice reached inside his cabin when Utkarsh was checking his files and Tina barged in.

"What happened Tina?" he asked, finding her uninteresting. Like seriously! It's not even a week passed from last they decided to get married, and Tina was asking him for like everything.

" You tell me what happened between you and her?"  she tried to suppress her anger by taking deep breaths.

" What do you mean?" What is this now suddenly? he was confused. Watching her like an idiot for her response he asked her again.

" Are you ok?"

"You love me right?" her voice shivered