Writers block

You.

I miss you.
Sometimes I want to message you. And tell you over and over sorry for everything and tell you how much I miss you and how happy we were together but I know that you would tell me to go away and leave you alone forever. I saw you earlier today. I had to act like I didn't know you and let you keep going. Sometimes I wonder how you are doing. Sometimes I wish things didn't end the way they did with no final "goodbye" no last hug, no last "I love you" no last nothing.
I miss the way you made me laugh and forget about the stupid shit that happened in the past, I miss our adventures, I miss your laugh your smile, the way you talk the sound of your voice your phone calls, your text messages, you.
I wish I can say something, I wish we didn't end I wish we could have bounced back to us. Happy go lucky us.
I miss our sleep overs and late night talks I miss our cry conversations we had and the way we held one another to make the pain go away. I miss the way your family made me feel like their family. I miss our days when we'd skip class to see one another because we missed each other in the morning. Having you run up to hug me in the halls. The lil kisses you gave me on the cheek.
I miss how we got in trouble and got away with it. I miss how we had our little insiders our little story's we could tell to our kids for later in life.
I miss you.
I hate how we don't talk. I hate how I can't talk to you. I hate how I know you hate me. I hate how I know you probably don't miss me and have moved on. I wish I can go back to that day and stop it all from happening before we even did anything. I hate how when I look up at the stars and think of you right away. I miss our nights when we'd look at the stars, listen to music and talk about absolutely everything that's mattered to us.
I miss you.
I miss hearing you say "I love you" and for you to hear it back from me before hanging up the phone or reading it in a text. Or hearing it when you were upset and were crying wishing the pain would go away. Telling me how much you were happy to have me and how much you cared about me.
I see you now and want to cry. Because of how much shit that's happened and you wanting nothing to do with me.

I miss you.
But you don't miss me..

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I have another entire to this going into detail about it all. But I never got around to finishing it all. I don't even know if I'll even post what I have now about it or if I'll just leave it in my notes. But if you're reading this... I miss you. But you're probably not seeing any of this..