If only you knew

God you bitch

Christophes POV.                                        

I hate you god you fucking fudge packer, dick headed chicken shit.
My life is completely shitty all because of you. I keep getting grounded I got kicked out of my old school and I'm french which just makes me embarrassed.

Anytime someone starts talking to me for the first time they're like "bonjour monsieur comment  Allez vous" it's like Jesus fucking Christ if you can't pronounce it right don't say anything and I can speak English even if I have a thick accent.

My mum is a cunt she's always telling me not to keep talking to people in french all because they can't understand. She's a religious freak and grounds me anytime I curse god or something.
So right now I'm doing my usual standing outside the house smoking a cigarette and thinking about how much god and I hate each other. 

I put out the smoke and open the front door. I grab my leather black jacket, some gum and of course my prize pelle (shovel). I couldn't imagine going anywhere without it, I bring it with me everywhere I go. I'm wearing my black fingerless gloves as it my first day at this new school and it creates an image.
I'm at some bus stop now and it looks like no one else waits here oh well isolation is freedom.

It's about 7:45. The bus is ment to get here at 8. Why do I have such a bad sense of time? I wonder what school will be like. It'll probably suck ass just like god, will I make any friends or enemies. I'd rather make enemies I could do with a good fight  every once in a while. But then my mom is determined for me to make some friends. Ha doubt that.

As I'm lost in thought I didn't notice a kid was standing next to me. Jesus he looks so creepy.
He looks over at me with a freakishly cheery smile. "Why hello I'm Phillip but everyone calls me pip because they hate me."

Ugh of course a happy go lucky British kid goes to this school what could be worse. "Zen I will call you pip I don't hate you Zat much but it's just easier." I explain. I don't wanna make him upset because then he'll cry and I don't want to deal with that. "Oh, jolly good then and what is your name?" He asks ugh why is his voice so high. "J m'appele Christophe but I hate zat  name so you can call me mole." I say clearly, in a stern voice. "Um why mole?" Pip asks. I dig a hole and end up on the other side of him. "Zats why".
I say in triumph.

"Oh wow you sure are talented." He exclaims.
"Who's talented?" Says a new voice. I look over from where I am standing and there is this boy. Although he doesn't look like one he's like a monster but not.
"Oh hello Damian this is mole" explains pip.
"Ah 'ze mole'" he says in a terrible french accent.
"My father quite likes you ya know." Damien explains.
"And who might your fazer be?" I asked with my normal gruff voice.
Damien floats over pip and looks directly at me I can literally see hell in his eyes."Oh just Satan."
"Huh, he sucks more ass zan god." I say in a careless manner.

"Oh I know especially saddam hussains" Damien explains. "Piss off I like to be left alone." I say sternly. "Fine  you faggy french fuck." He laughs and floats so that he is now next to pip. "Merci diable spawn seman chier chatte" I love using french because people can't understand properly. *thank you devil spawn seman shitting cunt.
"Ugh Whatever mole" he spits.

After a few more minutes of absolute torture(Damien flirting with pip)the bus is finally here. I earn a few glares stares and flirty smiles I think I'm going to hate this school.
I sat at the back of the bus and I have still got people staring at me it's so fucking annoyed. It was such a long bus ride.

I got off of the bus to be greeted by this weird man with an oversized head.
"Hello you must be Christophe I am councillor Mackey m'kay and I'll be showing you around the school."
"Bien alors Salope" *fine then slut
He just stares at me confused.

"Ah I remember you're french well I'm not so good at languages so um....follow me."
Wow he's so stupid if he would have read my student description he would have known that I've been in Colorado for almost 6 years so I know fucking English.
I follow him to his office and he says something in the loud speaker. "Gregory, report to the councillors office right now M'kay."

Meanwhile:
Gregory's POV

"Ugh what the bloody hell have I done now."
"You've been a french piece of shit that's what." Cartman sniggers.
I can't even be bothered to tell him I'm British I have said it a hundred times but he still claims there's no difference.
I pick up my cutlass and get out of the room making my way towards the councillors office. This is probably about me slashing Jenny Simons throat, but she's still alive so it shouldn't be a big deal.

I open the door and begun my testimony "sir I know that what I did could be seen as a violent act of some sort but I must argue that she called me a fag and she slapped me so I think that she deserved to suffer the consequences." He looks at me confused and then I notice this mysterious boy standing next to him.

He's actually the type of guy I'd probably go for. Rough and rebellious looking. But then he carries a shovel and that's a bit weird. Also that type of guy is always homophobic and straight. Not to mention I'm supposed to be a non-gay, straight, gentleman.

"Gregory I have no idea what your talking about M'kay but I'll drop it because your the only french student in this school and you need to show Christophe around." Mr Mackey explains.
"Pour l'amour de merde" The boy mutters.

Hmm so he can't speak English he's French....cute I guess. But can he understand English? probably not.
"May I remind you sir that I am British but I'll show him around anyway if you forget I said anything about my violent act."

Ze Moles POV

This dude seems kinda interesting I like his cutless I personally wouldn't carry one, it suits him thought. I don't think I've ever met a British person that sparks my attention. But he's different. Nah I'm delusional I don't like anyone in any shape or form.
"M'kay Gregory we have a deal I'll forget about what you said, this kid seems like an ass hole so I didn't really want to talk to him anyways."

Gregory sniggers they really think I don't understand. I do a fake friendly smile and the blonde leads me out of the door.
"Jesus the councillor is a dick isn't he" the British kid says.
"Plus comme une douche remplie de merde" I say sternly.
*more like a shit filled douche bag.

The blonde just looks at me confused and it's so funny. I'm gonna keep this up for a while this is just to good.
They all think I don't understand and that I can't speak their language.
"Well this is the art room..."
He goes around to every room just describing what happens in there.
It lasts for about an hour.
And I still haven't spoken English.

"And finally this is our form room everyone in here is a douche and I hate everyone." He explains.
Gregory opens the door and the class is silent.
"This is Christophe soon he'll be joining our class." Gregory tells everyone. There is no teacher to be seen.
This is the time before he says anything else I interrupt.

"Actually I am Ze mole if anyone calls me Christophe I will bury you alive."
Gregory is just standing there with his mouth open.
"Careful not to catch Ze flies" I coo pushing his jaw back up.
"Now if you'll excuse me I need a fucking cigarette because this school is causing to much stress." I walk away and go to the back of the school.
That is where I see 4 goth kids. Ugh this is gonna be fun. (Sarcasm)
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