Surviving

Chapter 1

      Many people might think that just because you have cancer you won't be liked.They would probably tease you and whenever you get near them they might run away.

Its like they think you're not even human. You feel like an ant and they are the ones who squash you with their feet.I guess you could say I've been squashed before,real bad. I'm Mariam Cove and I am diagnosed with leukemia.

      I became diagnosed three years ago, so I was about 12 years old. I lost lots of things when people found out I was diagnosed. My friends, my dog, and other things.

I was surprised that my dog even wouldn't get near me. I have a message to give the people

who don't have cancer. Live your life till the end and never look back. Also follow your

dreams.

     People judge so much these days, It's all about popularity and what skin color you have.

It's like 1942 all over again. I wish MLK was still alive. Right now this whole world

is messed up. The only good thing there is in America right now is televison, and when I

get bored and tired of watching tv I sit and try to write a book. It's harder than you think.

Along the way I  have to think about what the next part is going to be about and trust me that

is hard. Then you have to edit and type it then print it and blah blah blah blah. Over all it

is too much work and trust me that is not how I roll. I don't really have a social life or any

social activities. I have been depressed for a long time. Probably seven months. I don't really

know how it started. It just all happened. That's when my dog started to hate me.

    I know in the beginning I told you that I lost everything when people found out I was diagnosed,

but it was actually when I started getting depressed. When everyone tried to help me I completely shut

theem out of my life. That's when I knew that I had made a terrible mistake, so I got depressed

even more. It started to become a real problem.          

       I started going to therapy,but that did not help at all, My therapist startred asking me these dumb

questions, so i stopped going. I mean who does not get sad when they have leukemia. They are about to

freaking die. I am about to freaking die!!

      My life is ok i guess. I mean having leukemia is the only thing that affected it. And my family, they  

are ok too i guess. What i hate is that is that before i had cancer they wanted me to be perfect. I mean

they would just say go study or ask did u do read any books today. It's like they don't even think that

i work my butt of to get good grades. My uncle lives with us and all he wants me to do is read read

read and become a doctor, but i want to become a famous singer.It's been my dream for as long as

i could remember. Sometimes i even cry because my family thinks that i lie and they always would

underestimate me. The people who used to be there for me when that happened weren't any of

my family members, they were my friends. My friends were the only people who understood me.

I just wish my family would know what it feels like to be me.

            But what really sucks is that you can't choose how to live your life. You can't choose what you look like. You just have to accept it for what it is. I wish my family would accept me for who I am. It's like I can't even be ME around them. You have no idea what it is like to be called so many insulting names COMING FROM YOUR OWN FAMILY!

            Life is something you can't escape. You're trapped in a world and you can't get out. You just have to deal with it like it is. Some people who have everything already ask for more and you know what I call that? STUPID. Stupid is what I call it. They already have so much and they have even more! Pathetic losers. Also you know what's weird? I used to be bestfriends with one person like that.

            She wasn't pathetic or a loser at all though. She was popular and beautiful. We always made an amazing team. We were inseperable. Nobody could ever break us apart. Her name was Avalon Peterson. We used to do everything together. We would always have sleepovers and birthday partied together. Then one day a girl named Kelly appeared. Kelly of course was also beautiful. The moment her and Avalon met I knew they were going to be the new Avalon and Mariam, and they were. Avalon forgot all about me and so her and Kelly became the unstoppable.

            It's summer now and there is one more week until summer ends so Avalon and Kelly are probably blasting it off in Hawaii while I'm telling you all of this. I'm surprised that I even want to go to school. After all that has happened school is the least of my worries. My dream of going to Yale is shattered. I mean my future depends on my SAT scores and I'm pretty sure my SAT scores are not going to be so hot. I just hope to get at least about 2000. Ugh i guess that's it for now.