Breathe in. Breathe out.
Do it slowly. You might start hyperventilating.
I know you're panicking, but calm down before you can't stop. Don't let the tears run down your cheeks. You need to stop worrying and just focus on what's in front of you.
Life.
It's not your own anymore. There's someone who you're stuck with for better or for worse. This is scary and you don't even know what to do, but you have to do this. Don't get stuck on the past because that's not important right now.
Breathe.
I'm brought back to reality by chimes heard from the church. I've been standing here for longer than any bride should be and I finally walk in after waiting for my fiance to arrive at the alter.
What took him so long?
Before I could continue that thought my uncle laces his arm around mine. "Are you okay, Champ?" He says in a throaty whisper. A soft smile spreads across my face as I nod, starting to enter the church with him at my side and soon him and I are at the same pace.
Through my veil I can see the loving eyes of my mother, watching me from across the room. It's easy to say that compared to my rather anxious looking future husband, she's the only thing carrying me through this. I'm not really surprised by my fiance wanting to leave.
It's an arranged marriage after all.
What makes me upset is the fact he came late and STILL wants to leave as soon as possible. If I could only get a divorce before the wedding. The way he continuously taps his finger against his thigh while his eyes dart around, waiting for a chance to escape out of the church makes me regret agreeing to this. I feel out of place in a big, white wedding dress as people watch me walk down the aisle.
I've never been one to dream of being a mother, taking care of children or even getting married. I didn't and don't need someone else to be happy. Will I be happy? Ha, that's fat chance in hell with this marriage. I can't wait for our wedding night if I'm being honest. Sleeping in the second bedroom on the other side of the eighty eight million dollar mansion sounds like heaven.
Pushing myself away from him seems stupid instead of making the best of it right? There's no love, but maybe a friendship? Maybe even a mutual understanding? I've honestly tried everything with him. Oh, how utterly stupid I was.
One month.
One month before the wedding was all the time he had. Over that time, I heard every excuse. I'd be ignored for "emergencies" and work then left with a worthless apology. I didn't need anymore of that to know that it was hopeless.
I was taken out of my inner monologue as I arrived at the alter. I stood infront of my fiance and made eye contact with him. He kept wincing as if someone was going to hit him and it was easy to see his eyes were red. He looked like he was exhausted.
The rest of the ceremony continues, vows are exchanged and all that's left are the I do's. His lips rapidly twitch as he forces himself to smile. Though the smile on my face is as forced as his, mine didn't put me in pain.
"I do."
The church filled with unsuspecting people erupts with loud applause and cheers as we press our lips together, but there were no fireworks. No sparks whatsoever. Just an empty kiss for show.
And I expected nothing else.
_As the car door closes, my eyes dart to the man who was now my husband. "What was that?" I ask. He looks up at me, eyes red as he rubs his temple and only mumbles under his breath. "Not only were you late, but you looked like utter-." Before I can even continue, he shoots me a cold glare and finally speaks.
"Listen, I'm having the biggest headache of my life right now. Please, lower your voice for this car ride only. You can talk all you want at the reception." He says.
"You're head...? Leo, do you have a hangover? As in your were drinking the night before our wedding?" I asked. The way he quickly averted his eyes away from me was answer enough. I only scoffed at him and directed my eyes out the window.
"I'm sorry."
Letting out a breath I didn't know I had in, I replied. "Just...don't make it obvious."
_
Low and consistent chatter filled the beautifully decorated room. Round tables were randomly placed around, each having numbered label placed in the center of their white table spread. The room was spacious and located at the top floor of one of the many hotels my groom owns. It easy to say that the exterior was beautiful. Each pillar was decorated with white ribbons, scattered on the floor were golden balloons and as the main attraction, we sat in the very front of the room at a large rectangular table.
Leo's father approached the podium and readied his speech, the chatter became faint and with a soft smile, he begins. "Today, we celebrate Katelyn and my son's joining," he starts. "My son, to say the least is someone who, all his live has wanted something and now that he has Katelyn, he truly feels he has gotten it." With impassive eyes and a broad smile, he raises glass to the air.
"I have never respected my son as much as I do now. To the bride and groom." He finishes, the guests repeating.
I turn my head to my groom and watches as he chugs down his glass then indicates to the waiter for another. What is he thinking? Why is he drinking while he has a hangover?
Before I even part my lips to say something I felt a slight shiver down my spine watching him. He looked like someone who had been shown pity. All too soon, it was time for us to dance.On the dance floor we were, bodies pressed against each other's as we moved to the music and people admired us. In the left, a group of women at a table conversed about us with low voices. Even though their voices we're only a little bit above whispers I heard them perfectly as they scrutinized me. The lady in the center was absolutely jaw dropping and put me to shame. It's too bad her words weren't so beautiful.
"I thought Leo's father told him about making bad investments." She says, earning a few giggles from the group surrounding her. "If she was even more hayseed, we'd be standing in horse sh-." Before she can finish her sentence, Leo's father appeared before them and clears his throat giving sharp glare to the blonde.
The music finally reached to an end and I retreat to the hallway for air. I shouldn't be surprised by the statement. Not many people think that this marriage will last. I was standing there for several minutes, after awhile my husband leaves the room and enters the hallway.
Drunk.
He kind of just sways around before he makes eye contact with me, sickly smile spreading across his face. I instinctively shrink back against the wall as he moves closer. "Hey, hun." He says, a slight chuckle departing his lips. "Watcha up to? Hiding from your fanclub?"
I try pushing myself away the wall and started to walk away only to be stopped as he grabs my wrist. He firmly pins me to the wall and the smell of alcohol invading my senses.
"It looks like you're still a child." He says, uneven smile placed on his lips.
"And after today it looks like your mom gave birth to a fool." I retort. I only attempted to get him away, but his drunkenness left him off balance and he fell to the floor with a slight push. A soft groan departed his lips as he gazed up at me.
Making sure not to crease my wedding dress, I kneeled down slowly reaching his level.
"Are you alright, hun?" I ask.
************************************
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Rich Boys Do It Best
ChickLitDark eyes, brown hair and a gaze that could cut as sharp as glass. That was the kind of man I married. It wasn't forced. I agreed to it, but God knows I wasn't ready for half of what this man was about to give. What am I supposed to to do now? I'm...