The Secrets We Share

TWENTY SEVEN

Dawn

A couple of days later, my good spirits began to fade.

I didn't know why- Noah didn't want me and I didn't need him. What was the problem?

But that was just it. There was a problem- that Noah didn't want me.

So many things had happened at once that my brain still couldn't quite comprehend how exactly we'd broken up.

But why was I still thinking about this? Why wasn't I living my life normally?

It didn't make sense.

But sometimes I would catch myself thinking about him when I walked alone in the park, when I stared at the unmoving pieces on the chessboard, when I remembered throwing magnets at him in the kitchen.

I needed a distraction.

I grabbed my phone and asked both Aria and Kat if we could go out shopping together.

They both responded a couple of minutes later and we arranged a place to meet.

"What's up?" Aria asked as we headed into the mall.

"We have literally never gone shopping together. Something must be bothering you," Kat added, looking serious.

Suddenly Aria grinned. "You have a new secret boyfriend and you need something nice to wear on your first date!"

I glared at her. "That's just it, I'm still thinking about Noah!"

"I thought you got over him," Kat frowned. "It's been a week."

"I know, I know... I had thought so myself! But no, I haven't. Maybe shopping will get my mind off him."

Aria patted my shoulder and Kat agreed.

The next few hours passed in a whirl of excited chatter and bags and clothes and jewellery. We parted with Noah completely out of all of our minds.

"Next time!" Aria yelled as we walked back to our separate houses.

I agreed, thinking excitedly of everything we'd bought and done today.

As soon as I got back to my silent house, I put my new clothes I'd bought into the wash and wondered into my bedroom. The novelty of shopping hadn't quite worn off yet, but I was already feeling lonely.

The empty bed stared back at me.

*

The next afternoon, I decided to head to the city to waste my day away. I mean, there was absolutely nothing waiting for me at home, so why stay? I wore my new cream leggings and a matching off-the-shoulder crop top that I'd bought yesterday. I smeared on concealer and put on a light shade of lipstick, feeling satisfied as I stared at myself in the mirror. I grabbed my purse and locked the house up behind me. Leaving my hair out, I stomped towards the train station, which was within walking distance in my heeled boots.

Feeling confident that I finally had a vague plan for the day to put Noah at the very back of my mind, I leaned against the pole on the train carriage and waited impatiently for my stop. I twirled my hair around a finger and watched the landscape flash past outside.

At one point in time, I noticed two guys from my high school get on my carriage, stare at me openly and the skin I was showing, then one with black hair low-whistled and the other blonde one slapped him. They chuckled and moved to stand behind me. I felt uncomfortably twitchy, knowing that it was their stares burning into me and not the wrinkled eighty year old lady in the corner who was waving her walking stick around and talking, no, croaking into her phone about her mental health.