The Times We Had (Jotaro X Kakyoin)

The Times We Had

Dear Kakyoin,

I never thought I would have to write this letter. You of all people knew that literature has never really interested me, so sitting down and writing this feels extremely odd to be honest. Writing a letter in the first place was a stupid idea, since the only person who is ever going to see this is me. But funnily enough I am still trying to figure out what I want to say with this damn letter, so I suppose I've still got some form of hope left within me. I know reading was one of your greatest passions, so I hope this brings you some kind of joy no matter where you are right now.

It's been 10 years since I last saw you. It's funny how fast time flies by, is it not? We both would have been 28 years old by now. You kept going on and on about how you wanted to publish your first novel, and you even came to me for advice while thinking out the story for it. I'm sure it would have been very successful if you actually had the time to publish it, if only life wasn't so unfair. They say that scars heal over time, but strangely enough mine keeps getting bigger everytime I think about you.

How do you think our lives would have looked like if you were still here? That thought has crossed my mind more times than you could possibly count. How would our wedding have looked like? How many kids would we end up getting? I know you always wanted two or more, and even thought the thought of having more than one kid scared me I still would have agreed to it. As long as you are happy I don't care about anything else. Life is so fucking unfair.

When I visited your grave back in Tokyo earlier this month someone had already left a bouquet of red roses, I assume it was your mother. As cheesy as this may sound, it reminded me of our first kiss. Do you remember it? Your leg got severely injured, so you had to lean against me to not fall. I remember it like it was yesterday, I remember exactly how you smelled and I remember the exact feeling of your warm body pressing against mine as I carefully had to escort you through the city. The taste of your soft lips reminded me of just that, a bouquet of roses. It may have been small things, but I will treasure them forever. The fact that I will never be able to hold you in my arms again is unreal.

I just want to touch you one last time, I just want to stroke your hair one last time, I just want to feel the warmth of your lips as we kiss each other one last time. I want to carefully hold you in my arms and never let go, I want to make love with you like we used to do before, i want to stare deeply into your soft, purple eyes as proof that all of this was real and it wasn't just my imagination. One last time. That's all I'm asking for. One. Last. Time.

I've never been the best at expressing my emotions, but I want you to know that I love you and that I miss you. The time I spent with you were the best time of my life, and I would do absolutely anything to experience that exact same feeling again. Wherever you are, thank you. I will always treasure the moments we had together.

Good grief.. I got all emotional towards the end. I hope you realise how much I love you and wherever you are, I will find you once my time has run out. Thank you for standing by my side, through sickness and health I suppose.

Signed, Jotaro