Heat Waves

two

Before I had graduated, my summer vacations were quite like this one had been so far. I worked and I went out once in a while, but mostly I just commuted between work, home, and back to work. What made this summer vacation different, though, was that I had started to hear the back to school commercials and seen the ads and I knew that they didn't apply to me anymore. It was such an odd feeling. I almost missed the excitement and/or dread of returning to those long hallways and identical classrooms.

I blew out a long breath as I sat up and stretched one arm to the left and the other to the right. My body was so stiff, I felt like my joints would creak like the tin-man. A quiet snicker left my lips. I wasn't even nineteen yet and already I was feeling old.

It only took me half an hour to shower, dry my hair, and be ready. I dressed in the blue polo shirt and khaki pants that were my work uniform. They took away most of the curves of my body with how they fit, only barely outlining my feminine form. The uniform made me look average and ordinary. What I saw in the mirror was a strikingly average freckle-faced, red-headed, skinny teenage girl. Nothing about me stood out. I liked that. It was so much simpler and so much easier to go through life unnoticed. I could do whatever I wanted.

I had just about made it out the front door when I noticed I was missing my apron. I sighed, pushed the door back open. I couldn't remember exactly where I had left it. My mom had done laundry the night before, so the apron would most likely be in the dryer.

I was right. I smiled to myself as I shook out the wrinkles and tied the apron around my waist.

"Wait- Mary!" My mom had caught a glimpse of me from the kitchen as I was walking back towards the door. "Come here a moment!"

I walked back a few steps and turned into the brightly lit room. Sunlight poured in through the large windows, lighting up the room almost enough to match the joy on my mother's face. "What's up, Mom?"

She was an older woman, overweight but very pretty. Her round face was framed by red hair that dropped just below her chin, and she was wearing the peach floral apron I had made for her birthday last year. I could almost always find my mom with it on after I had made it, and the fact that she loved it so much always managed to warm my heart. I loved her more than I could ever imagine loving anybody else, although my little seven-year-old brother came in at a close second. They were the only family I had left. I would do anything for them.

She beamed at me, eyes sparkling green like mine. "Were you going to leave without saying goodbye?" I smiled back and walked over, setting one hand on her waist as I kissed her cheek. She laughed so pretty and happy, it melted my heart. "Tonight I'll be making cupcakes for tomorrow's party. Your brother has been begging me for chocolate for weeks, so I was thinking I'd surprise him with chocolate cupcakes -- and a Lightning McQueen electric toothbrush. It says Kachow when it's turned on," she laughed as she finished slicing tomatoes for the sandwiches she was making.

"He'll love it," I said, stepping aside to give her more room as she put together the ingredients.

"Oh, I hope so," she sighed. The smile slipped off her lips a little. "You know, he misses your father. This is his first birthday without him, and I know it'll be really hard. And Mike, too. I was going to get him a new baseball, like Mike did every year since he was born, but I felt- I couldn't do it. It would make it worse." She sniffed, tears flooding over onto her flushed cheeks.

The sight of her pain reminded me of my own, of the pain that we shared together, but I shoved it back into the vault I'd locked it behind since that day before it could affect me too much. Standing next to her, I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and kissed her cheek again before resting my cheek against her shoulder. Her shoulders quaked slightly as she allowed herself a moment to release her pain in one of the only ways that she could. She had to be strong for everybody, she once told me when I found her sobbing in my older brother's old room. She had to be strong for me and for my baby brother, but also for herself because otherwise there was no way she would survive this.

We were quiet for a few minutes. I rubbed her arm soothingly, holding her tight. "I think you should," I spoke quietly, straightening up. "Give him Mike's old one from his Pee-wee years. He should have it."

Slowly, she nodded and lifted a hand to pat my arm. "Thank you, honey." I took that as my cue to pull away. She sniffled, wiping her face clean with the corner of the apron. "I think I'll do that. You should probably get going, I don't want to make you late." She tucked one sandwich inside a paper bag and handed it to me, patting my hand with her other hand as she did. "I love you, be safe on the road."

"I will." I kissed her cheek again and left.

Just before I turned on the engine to my car, I checked my phone. Evan had texted me saying he wanted to go out with me again soon like we had last night, and then good morning at 7AM. I smiled a little but didn't respond. I'd give him a call tonight, but right now, I didn't feel like talking to anyone that I hadn't the obligation to.