Snatched (On Going) I'm Sorry---have Been Extremely Ill---will Update Soon

TWELVE

             My heart was in my throat, the blood pumping harshly through my veins, ringing in my ears. My breath was caught in my chest as though an invisible pillow was blocking its progress up my esophagus. My head was swimming. I felt lost, confused, broken, rage, and complete devastation. How could they have been murdered? I was completely shocked and disgusted. How could it have been murder, I thought it was a car crash.

What can I do? Who can I tell? Should I call the police? Am I jumping to conclusions? I decided I should listen to the rest of the recording. I took a long gasping breath and realized tears were rolling down my face. I was not ready to hear anymore but I had to know why my grandfather thought this. I had to listen to some of his final thoughts and fears. It had to be me. My mom could not know this until I knew for sure it was true, or maybe even at all.

I pressed play again and my grandfathers voice filled my ears again. "The OSF is no longer safe. there has been a split, a parting. My brother has left the society, to form his own ends." My breath stopped again, my grand father had a brother? I had a great uncle? This was insanity, how could I not know about an entire uncle and possible aunt and cousins? What is going on? This makes no sense. "I was sorry to see my brother break away but he wanted very different things for our society, very different end goals. Instead of simply healing the faction, and forming passive compromises and treaties and making good additions to our society,  and curing the Cancer... he wanted to cut the loose ends, sever the ties that bind us, commit horrible crimes against other human beings, murder, theft, destruction. He did not meet our code of doing no harm. He believed extreme measures were needed for peace and the ends outweighed the means. "

                        There was a pause in the tape and I realized that my grandfather must be crying. He must be mourning his brother. The loss of that relationship. He was sad, and lost without that sacred bond of brotherhood. He was betrayed. He felt exactly like I did. It was as though I had tasted something bitter and felt as though a giant stone fell through my stomach and bounced against the pit of my stomach. My heart was breaking for my grandfather, for his loss, and the once a partially closed wounds of my grandparents deaths to be split open again and doused with salt. The pain of the lies that had been swept under the rug, family that was kept a secret from me. The whole entire ordeal just made my head swim. 

      "My brother was a good man, once. Now, he is evil, strange, calculating, he lacks a conscious and remorse. I don't know who he is now, but he is not the boy I grew up with." A deep intake of breath told me that in the past my grand father was struggling to make these words intelligible because his heart was in so much agony. I understood how he was feeling because I felt the same way. "It started out with simple miscarried judgment, he would simply make calls that were borderline dangerous, but still within the realm of understanding.. but his reasoning behind these choices got murkier and more obscure till pretty soon he was making calls that not only endangered our members but the people we had started out to protect. I stepped in. I tried to eradicate his behavior... but as time went on it became clear to me these were not simple mistakes they were intentionally designed to fail and cause devastation to all involved. His choices became wilder and wilder finally resulting in the fatal injury of one of our own. When Jeffery Cavanaugh was killed in action we wept and mourned for him. We held a huge memorial and after the burial I had no choice but to remove my brother from the society. It was with a heavy heart I sat Elliot down and told him he had to leave."

"Elliot did not take this lightly, he begged for forgiveness on bended knee, but the choice had to be carried through. Unbeknownst to me he had secretly converted some of our members to his twisted way of thinking and not only did he leave but fifteen other members separated from us along side him. I did not protest or beg them to stay, they were volunteering to be of service after all but this was a hearty blow, none the less." He was quite for a moment and my heart ached to comfort him. His own brother betrayed him and took his followers to a darker side of a two sided coin. My poor grandfather.

"Elliot began to send people into the field and gather more support and a larger following within the following years, and pretty soon he was killing people left, right and center. The body count was rising. I decided to call a meeting with him six years after his departure.  I tried to make him understand that he couldn't continue to push these limits and murder. He tried to play the brother card. "I'm your brother, we are family. How could you say I committed murder?" "I tried to convince him that he was not the man he was pretending to be. He was causing devastation, and turmoil for all. He was breaking every rule laid down for OSF, and for him his whole life. Eventually he tilted his head back and gave a mirthless laugh. "I will not share these pitiful laws you follow. I will not go blindly into our fathers stupid code. I will make my own choices, and rub shoulders with my own people. Good day, and good bye brother."

My grand father sounded deeply unsettled. He seemed to be remembering the moments he was speaking about as though it costed him a great deal to stroll through these memories. "I never saw my brother again. I stopped speaking of him. My children stopped asking. He melted away from me and even though I never forgot about my brother, but also that determined and remorseless facial expression he had showed me that day. Over the years strange happening and accidents that were clearly not accidents reached my ears. I confess that I did not want to move against my brother, I did not fear him, but no matter our difference he was my blood. My brother. We were cut from the same cloth. We were deeply woven into the fabric of each others life quilt. "

"Three weeks ago I received a letter that was from my brother. I was completely shocked when I opened the front door and saw a manilla envelope on my welcome mat. I quickly grabbed the letter with shaking hands and descended down to the sub basement office and opened the letter. It was in my brother's loopy hand writing. I could hear the soft rustling of paper being shifted around.

The letter said, "I am sorry for the bad blood, brother. I have realized my mistakes far too late, I am afraid I am going to die. Your family is in danger too. I would like to meet you and discuss the situation soon. Meet me at our old meeting place at 1 AM on Sunday. If I am not there please get away from this place. Get Kathleen and run. Again, I am sorry. Love your brother, Elliot."