small words || jeongcheol

42: i'll hold the pain.

Jeonghan was lying in bed, eyes unfocused on the ceiling above him. His room felt foreign and unwelcoming as he lay there, tears dried on his face and hands. He hadn't left his room in over twelve hours, and no one had come up to check he was okay. He had heard his step-father leave for work that morning, stirred from restless sleep.

People had come to haunt him in his dreams. Old ghosts, past demons, present curiosities.

"Seungcheol," he muttered, his voice like gravel. "Where are you?"

His mind had muddled through memories of what had been and dreams of what might come. His stomach hurt. He had thrown up in the en-suite until there was nothing left to come up, and he felt empty.

Hollow, like his heart was missing.

He slowly rolled over, curling his limbs into as small a space as possible in the middle of the bed.

His heart felt like it was missing. Because Seungcheol had it.

***

"

He's stopped screaming and crying," Minghao murmured as Josh came out of the office to check on him.

The trainee nurse was sitting with his back to the door of the Quiet Room. Feeling weary to the bone, Minghao was slumped there on the floor, ears tuned to every sound coming from the room behind him.

"Do you think he's alright?" Josh asked quietly. "He hadn't tried to hurt himself?"

Minghao bit his lip. "There's nothing in there," he reasoned, more with himself and his own judgement than with the nurse.

"Shoelaces," Josh almost whispered.

Minghao's face drained of colour.

"Wen?" he called, twisting around to place both hands against the door. "Wen, are you okay?"

Silence followed.

Minghao's heart raced. "Wen!" he demanded. "Answer me! Junhui? June? Someone, please answer me!" His voice cracked and he struggled to his feet, reaching for the door handle.

"Don't open the door."

Minghao's hand froze. "Who is it?" he asked carefully.

"Don't open the fucking door," the voice replied flatly. "I don't know what I might do."

Minghao's head came to rest against the door. "Wen? Is that you? Are you okay?"

He exchanged a glance with Josh.

"I'm okay."

"Thank God," the trainee nurse exhaled.

"Nurse Josh?" Chan asked, appearing at th end of the hall.

"Yes, Chan," Josh said, turning and putting on a smile.

"Come and look at my drawing!" the boy said excitedly. "I drew you and Nurse Minghao and Nurse Seungcheol!"

"Of course, Channie," Josh said, going over to him and wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

Minghao nodded, forcing a smile. Josh inclined his head and went with the younger boy.

"Wen. I..." Minghao sighed. "I'm sorry I had to force you in there."

"It's fine. I get out of control," the gruff voice replied. "Junhui has a hard enough time keeping me inside as it is."

"You still don't want me to open the door?" Minghao asked.

Inside, Wen shook his head. He was sitting on the floor, back to the door, knees drawn up to his chest.