Sherlock X suicidal reader

The fake phone number

"Y/N we are back!" John yelled

"Uh okay!" You yelled from the bathroom trying to clean up the blood from your arm in a hurry.

"Y/N where are you?" John asked

"Here." you said stepping out of the bathroom.

"I don't know why you insisted on staying here. You could have came with us it would have been so much better." Sherlock looked at her suspiciously

"I just didn't really feel like it." You said breathing slightly heavier than normal with your eyes moving frantically around the room.

"Y/N why are you so anxious?" Sherlock looked at you and sat down.

"Well mainly I was anxious about you asking me why I was anxious." You said sitting down as well.

"It's quite warm in here, why are you wearing a jacket?" Sherlock asked you

"Oh nothing I was just cold, I'm fine now with the jacket on." You said using the excuse you have been planning if anyone asks.

"Hmm, well you can just turn the heat up. You know that right?" Sherlock reminded you

"I just..."

"Didn't want to. Is that right Y/N?" Sherlock cut you off.

"How did you know...?" You asked.

"You where planning to say that, just like you planned to say you where cold. You said the first sentence way to fast. Like you rehearsed it." Sherlock looked up at you.

"I'm going to bed." You said.

"Not till you admit I'm right."

"Fine, your right."

"Why would you rehearse it?"

"Because I felt like it."

"I know that's not true, but goodnight." Sherlock said

You layed in bed and cried hoping that Sherlock and John wouldn't find out. You knew that Sherlock probably already knew, but for some reason he didn't mention it.

You started coming up with excuses in your head but relised there was no way you could fool them.

-The next morning-

" What does it say?" Sherlock asked you as you came out of your room.

"What the hell are you talking about?" You asked rubbing your eyes.

" Well I'm assuming you wrote something on yourself you didn't want me to see, so that's why you wore a jacket." Sherlock asked thinking he was right.

"Sorry I don't really want to say." You said playing along.

This was amazing, a great exit to this situation made you so happy. You couldn't let sherlock know so you put on your best poker face.

"Come on I just want to know, then I will leave you alone." Sherlock said hoping he guessed correctly.

"Fine, It's a boy's number."

" Well well, I was right." Sherlock smiled

"Yep."

"Morning." John said walking through the door.

"Morning." You and Sherlock both said smiling.

" I will be right back." You said going to the bathroom.

You walk into the bathroom and pulled out your razor blade from your phone case.

You cut yourself on your arm 15 times before you heard a knock on the bathroom door.

"Y/N are you okay?" You heard John say from the other side of the door.

"Yeah, I'm alright." You said in your best fake happy voice.

"Well alright, we will go to out for breakfast when you are done in there." John said signaling you to hurry up.

"Okay, just go wait for me outside." You said

You stopped the bleeding to the best of your ability and put your razor back in your phone case.

You walk outside and you all leave to the restraunt in a cab.

"Thanks!" You tell the driver when you all get there and John pays him.

You get to the table and sit down, you didn't really have a big appetite so you didn't want to eat.

Sherlock was sitting across from you and John was sitting next to you, and all you could think about was cutting. 

"And for you ma'am." The waitress asks pulling you out of your thoughts.

"Oh um, just water please."

"alright, we will have everything out in a little bit." the waitress says in her best 'I need to make sure my boss doesn't fire me' voice

"Y/N why are you not eating anything?" Sherlock asks looking at you a bit confused.

"Oh I have a bit of a sore throat, I don't want to eat." You reply slower trying to make sure Sherlock doesn't think you rehearsed that too.

"Alright then." Sherlock said knowing that wasn't true.

You put your phone on the table to try to get something from your pocket.

"Y/N what is that?" Sherlock asks grabbing your phone.

A small peice of the blade stuck out from the camera hole on your phone case.

Sherlock opened the phone case and saw the blade and put two and two together.

"How long?" He asked

"What...?" You asked hoping in your mind that it's not what you thought he ment.

"Cutting, how long have you been cutting?" He asked

" since W/Y/S (When you started)" You looked down at your feet under the table

"Oh Y/N" John turns to the side and hugs you.

"Y/N you know you can talk to us right?" Sherlock asked

"Mhmm." You said although you knew you didn't feel like you could.

A/N sorry for randomly ending it, it was getting kind of long so... Yeah...