finesse « j.jk x c.ty »

1

one

       dear my optimist half,

                          how are you?  I hope you're doing great there.  how to be you?  I know that you've been happy cuz you're happy right? you're my other half but I don't feel one. I just wanna tell you that I'm tired, I'm tired of being alone and being depressed every each day passing by. I can't cope up with the same shits that happened here at our school and last but definitely the first one that gotten me to be tired as my aunt. Sure I loved her so much, so much that I can spend my life just for them but my bullies have abusive act towards me? that makes me sick.
                             I just hope I can be you. Being a positive girl even though you have a lot a problems that you'll loathe a lot.

                                                    tzuyu.

As the lonely girl closed her journal about her depressing life, her face suddenly went to frustration as she was getting wetting up by none other than her bullies, the one who make her life even worst.

Can they just let me live because I just want to die after this, but can I do it?

She hissed as she keeps running to avoid the water that they keep throwing at her. Good thing that she has an oversized jacket so that the people at her school don't manage to look at her disgusting upper body.

She just kept running and not saying too much so that they cant hear her voice. No one knows why she bullied this way either.

she doesn't know why she's getting bullied but the only reason that she knew is she's useless.

she's useless to this world that she can't help to feel mournful about it.

she's useless because no one was there to help her out but who cares about her then? she even didnt reach out from some people because all of them are her bullies.

she's useless because her parents are abandoning her, no one gonna love this kind of girl, she thought.

she runs until she finds an empty branch that looks old but she just went to it and sit because she's tired.

well not only physically but emotionally and mentally tired.

"Oh lord, how did you do? look at my life now, I still need to fix it thought."

she mockingly laugh at her idiot self as she was talking to a nonsense. she removed her hoodie of the jacket that was already soaked wet, despite of these, she's still using it.

Well, she didn't know what will happen to her life anymore despite of living the house without expenses so that she'll not gonna take a part time job.

That's what her aunt says to her. At least she's still greatful to her aunt except her parents who just left her out here.

By the way, she's taiwanese and her aunt is half korean so that's why she can't forget on  what happened to her. It's so tragic and traumatic.

She sigh, a dramatic sigh. She didnt expect to be this way, it isnt worth to live like this but because of her aunt who loves her very much, she will fight for her even though she's weak to be a warrior.

-------------------

First time writing an angst, argh I hope I can do well

03/20/19

-taerpitude