Target [Winter Solider/Bucky Barnes short story]

9.

(Right, I can't sleep so I figured, let's work on an update. 9/1)

We'd been running for at least a month, James and I. We'd hopped trains, which made James uneasy, and hitchhiker, and walked, and ran from HYDRA for a little over a month. It seemed like it'd been longer, but I had been keeping track. For more reason than one.

One particular morning, I woke up to bloody sheets and a panicked Winter Soldier. Which triggered an awkward explanation that I wasn't hurt or bleeding to death, I was on my period.

Which complicated things, because when I'm on my period it's in everyone's best interest to just stay away. Unfortunately for James, he couldn't just leave me alone for an entire week because we were running from people that wanted to kill us. Well, kill me and wipe his memory again.

But the week had passed quickly and things went back to normal, for the most part. There was a small addition to what I was carrying in my bag and James had a new-found respect for women because he had to out up with a bitchy, emotional, slightly hormonal woman for an entire week.

We'd each learned things about each other,and let me tell you, learning new things about him was interesting.

I had learned he was the James Buchanan Barnes, from the 107th and the Howling Commandos, aka Captain America's best friend till the end of the line. He survived the fall from the train, minus a limb, and became a brainwashed assassin that was kept in cryostasis when not on a mission for the very people he had been fighting. I also learned that when spending virtually every minute of ever day with someone you have slight feelings for, those feelings grew... and became harder to ignore.

Up to a certain point, I had been doing pretty damn well. But after a while, every time he got closer to me I would start blushing. He passed it off to my personal space issues, which were pretty quirky if I'm being honest, but I had been doing good at ignoring my feelings.

That is, until we found ourselves in a motel room in a remote town in the middle of nowhere.

"Get some sleep kid." James said. I glared darkly at him.

"How many times do I have to tell you? I'm not a kid!" I seethed. James looked ticked.

"You've done a great job proving your point." He said sarcastically. I stepped closer to him, not even sure of my actions.

"Let me have one more chance to prove my point." I said quietly. James watched me as I took another step closer and stood on my tiptoes.

We were so close, I could feel his breath on my face. I leaned in closer, my eyes closing on their own accord.

Just barely, our lips touched for a brief moment before I stepped back and turned away from him. Honestly, it probably didn't even count as a kiss. But my control had slipped and I gave in to temptation, which made me mad at myself. I had to be stronger, I had to be better, I couldn't let myself give in or break. The words had been drilled into my mind at a young age, by my own mother, and had stuck with me my entire life. I was always pushing myself to be better, to be stronger.

James caught my shoulder and pulled me back, forcing me to turn and face him. I had no chance of asking any questions before his lips were on mine and my eyes are tightly shut.

His hands gripped at my waist, holding me close, and my hands were tangled in his hair.

Don't get me wrong, I'd kissed someone before. I'd kissed a lot of someone's actually. Hell, I'd kissed Eli before as a dare. But this kiss, was unlike any kiss I've ever had.

It left me feeling warm and fuzzy and slightly drunk. My heart was pounding and my breathing was ragged. He had kissed me, and he kissed me like he meant it.

"You're right. You're not a kid." James murmured, brushing a few rogue stands of hair out of my face. My hair was nearing the bottom of my ears, which looked awkward but James told me he liked my long hair and I subconsciously decided to grow it out again. The touch sent my remaining coherent thoughts out the window, leaving my brain fuzzy and muddled. "You've got no idea how long I've wanted to kiss you..."

I smirked lazily. "I think I've got an idea." I mumbled, carefully untangling my fingers from his hair.

And life was good, for a while. James and I had been a bit more affectionate towards each other for a while, until we ended up getting into a fight that ended with me saying quite a few things I didn't mean.

"Why are you stubborn?" He had yelled. We were arguing over whether or not we should stop running, at least for a short while so I could get my bearings and figure out where we were.

"I get it from my mom." I snapped. "You know, the woman you killed to get to me." The instant the words left my mouth, I wanted to take them back. And I tried, god knows I tried. "No! No, I didn't mean that. I take it back."

James looked hurt, worse he looked betrayed. I promised not to hold that against him. I broke a promise. "You- you liar." He stammered. "You said you don't break promises. You lied."

"James, no I take it back. I'm sorry, I didn't mean it." I cried, trying my hardest to take back words that had no place in leaving my mouth.

"You can't take it back. You already said it." He said bitterly. "Maybe you should leave." I took a step back and gave in, wishing I had learned the valuable skill of shutting the hell up. I picked my bag up off the floor and turned sharply, walking away. Leaving my past behind, leaving the man I secretly wanted to be my future behind.

And I wouldn't see him for the next few days. Or even the next week. But when I did see him again, I knew things would never be the same.

(So... yeah. Hate me, scream at me, whatever. Rant in the comments if you need to. Just know this, I have a plan. Word count: 1,093)