Dreaming reality

Remembering those we've lost or yet to loose

As I walked through the shadowy yet somewhat inviting cemetery, I felt a sense of guilt. not because I had done anything, but for the reason that I hadn't. i know that sounds cliché but that's how I felt.

there was 1 woman over the other side sat on the black wet bench, her eyes rimmed with red. Her eyes black like space. tears mixing with rain poured down her glowing skin. she looked onto a grave I couldn't make out the words , but it was surrounded by balloons with childlike pictures on them. like the ones you get in a kids party. i kept walking to where my fear lay, my main fear had passed it was worse than it could ever have been at the time. i look up rain catching on every feature of my face. i clinch my fists as i walk onwards towards my sisters grave. there she lays in peace, my only help, my soul was there in that shitty wooden coffin. i drop onto my knees and lay down the lavender plants that she loved so dearly. my face scrunches up and tears flood my face. i let out a cry. the rain doesn't bother me. i just stay there flooding her grave with sorrow.

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I wake up breathing heavily, sweat dripping down my face. I try to catch my breath that nightmare took from me. a fear sparks up me. I run out of my room, I catch a shadowin the corner of my eye. I run into my sisters room, she is laying there. I storm over to her bed and shake her. She doesn't respond, I start screaming, shaking her even harder. 

"Wake up!" I'm crying by now, I'm still screaming. My mum runs in looking worried followed by my dad, she still doesn't wake. she isn't breathing either. My mum calls an ambulance. My dad runs over and hugs me. Holding me tight. We soak each other with our tears.

1 month later

I don't speak or listen anymore. My mum talks to me, all i hear is her voice but no words form. i know what she wants though, she wants Celia. I'm no use if I'm not my sister. I just stay in my room.

On the way back from school I always stop at the local spar to pick up an ice-cream. the man there always says something to me I just nod its better than staying emotionless and like a moody teenage girl to be honest. I pay for my ice-cream and I leave walking fast to get to my house.

as I arrive I am greeted by my dog who is named Poppy. She is the best thing that has happened to me. Sometimes I feel like she is the only one who understands me. We walk inside, that stinging smell fills my nose.

Everyday seems to be the same nowadays, nothing worth anything. I'm not the only one affected by my sisters death, I've started a campaign for heart disease and for children to be tested for early warnings. I haunt myself these days, I have the same dream of the graveyard. I just ant it out of my head.

Help me. Get out of my head!