It's Okay.

Is It you?

I stood alone in the room of the boy I once called my son. Focusing my breathing so not to bring unwanted attention to my self. There would be no use having a panic attack.

Shifting gently from one foot to the other, i let my gaze wonder. My eyes finding its way around his room, taking in as much information as I could. His room was smaller now, but i guess that,s expected, after all most would agree that a mansion would have a larger area space than an 3 bed loft space. Its a good job Neal is still a baby other wise there would be even less room because he would have to share it.

My eyes water as i look around. The little boy that i knew who helped me to decorate his room with glow in the dark stars and glow in the dark paint, to make it look like there was stars in his room, so close he could reach out and grab them, and to help combat the terror he had for dark rooms was sadly gone. Now in his place a teenager who had a mess room with clothes in a pile on the floor, weather they were clean or dirty i didn't know. His room, though still blue, was a dark masculine colour instead of the light and bright blue it use to be, with plain bed sheets that were blue and black. He had very few stuffed toys now compared to then and were now replaced with pictures of nearly half naked girls and fast cars postered all over his room.

I saw saw what looked to be the butt of a guitar hidden underneath his bed only partially showing to the world. I walked towards it slowly and bent down to pick it up.

-/-/-

Beautiful memory's invade my head of when I use to hum and pluck at the, Making soothing melody's on my own guitar to get Henry to sleep when he was just baby. It use to be my secret weapon, I would play songs I had herd of off the radio or mess around with Henry singing every child's nursery rime you can think of. And then when it was time to sleep, even if he didn't want to, the calming sound of a soft lullaby made his eyes droop so fast that he use to just have to give in to his slumber. His please to stay up later would all but be forgotten listening to the soft sounds of the strings of the guitar. 

But then when henry started  thinking I was the evil queen one of his very first accusations was that I was some how using my music to control him, as if it was some mind controlling thing, in the end trying to get henry to trust me again involved getting rid of my guitar and promising that I would never play a tune again. Not even humming was  aloud, it crushed my heart. Singing had always been there for me. And when i came to this world and i picked up a guitar for the first time  it became something that i could use to sooth myself. Something i could do to calm my self when in of those idiots stressed me out and i felt like ripping out there heart. But I did it for henry. For him I made that promise.

-/-/-

I picked it up and looked at it.
It looked so much like my old one.

I sat down on the floor with my back against his bed and started to pluck at the strings to see if they were all in tune, after some few miner adjustments I took a breath. My mind once again going back to the good times when henry was my little baby and all he wanted was my love.

My fingers started to softly play a tune that was once lost to them, they move rhythmically, string to string, from one note to the other not once hitting a bum note.

My eyes closed them self. Words that once were a comforting melody float from her. Her voice dancing its way around the room.

"I have never loved someone the way I love you."  

a smile pulling a her lips thinking of her little boys gurgling  that use to accompany her as she sang.

"I have never seen a smile like yours
And if you grow up to be king or clown or pauper
I will say you are my favourite one in town"

"I have never held a hand so soft and sacred,
When I hear your laugh I know heaven's key,
And when I grow to be a poppy in the graveyard.
I will send you all my love upon the breeze"

"And if the breeze won't blow your way, I will be the sun.
And if the sun won't shine your way, I will be the rain.
And if the rain won't wash away all your aches and pains
I will find some other way to tell you you're okay."

With a smile plastered on my face i whispered the last few words, words i have whispered in his ear on many occasions as he grew.

"You're okay..." 

"You're okay..." 

My head whipped up at the startling sound of the other voice in the room. I had been so trapped in the song that i hadn't noticed anyone approaching, nor the fact that henry now stood at the door way with a confused look on his face and clouding his eyes.

I shot up. "Oh henry. I'm so sorry!" I ushered. Putting the guitar on the bed."I'm sorry i shouldn't have touched any thing." Her 'just the mayor' façade falling in the place. All being a little shook up but it was in place. " Your mum told me to wait in here for you while you finished your homework so i could speak to you about the trip around town to see all the historical sights that we have." clearing my throat roughly. " Sorry, maybe we can tank about it another time. I'm sorry to have bothered you." i said quickly, rushing passed him and down the hall way. 

"WAIT!"

" STOP"

"MUM!"

"MUM STOP! PLEASE STOP RUNNING FROM ME.! "

"I REMEMBER YOU"

The end .

Mwahhahahahahaha. 

I wrote this little story because i heard this  lovely song

(that i have placed in the header) 

and felt like if would fit great with it. what do you angels think? do you like it ?