Eccedentesiast (Brandon Darrow)

#Moving

[#Moving]
Right where you stand. Just as you are. You are enough.
–Darla Evans
*****

     Tomorrow I would be moving to a new house with my father. Today however I was stuck packing things. After what happened at the grotto I hated being by myself but I also found comfort in it. This was the reason Elisia was here, she wouldn't talk as much but she also new exactly what to say. Except apparently today. "Have you talked to Brandon at all since you know...?" She asked while folding clothes.
     I had told her exactly what Brandon had said to me that night he came to my house. "No why would I have talked to him he's in juvie," I said picking up crumpled drawings and putting them in a box.
    "You said he's called before, maybe you should go visit him," Elisia shrugged putting the clothes in a box.
   "He's the enemy remember," I said looking at the picture I drew of him.
    "You care about him Aspen, just admit it," she said. She was right I did, she was also right that Brandon called me at least once a day. I had never answered him though.
    "Listen I know you mean well Elisia but I really don't want to talk about this right now," I muttered closing the boxes.
"I'm just saying maybe talking will help, you obviously still feel something for him," She said.
    "I really don't want to talk about him right now," I ground my teeth.
    "Okay fine," she said throwing her hands up in surrender.
     "How's ash," I asked her throwing myself on the bed.
    "I don't know, to tell you the truth," she sighed throwing herself next to me. "I just don't know what to do, I feel so helpless all the time," she groaned putting her arm over her eyes.
     "I know exactly what you mean," I mutter sitting up on the bed. "Why don't you stay here tonight?" I ask her.
    "Yeah I can help you move these stupid boxes to the u-haul," she said slapping one of my boxes.
    "Thanks," I said moving around to finish packing. After we finished packing most of my things away Elisia and I laid down on the bed and watched a movie. She made it about thirty minutes into the movie before she fell asleep. I however couldn't sleep at all. It was six in the afternoon and I still hadn't slept for two days straight.
     My phone began to ring and I knew exactly who it was from without even looking at it. I sighed before answering it. The monotone voice told me an inmate was calling and asked if I wanted to accept. I hesitated for a moment before hitting decline. I threw my phone on the floor and groaned rubbing my eyes. I really hated myself for even answering the phone.
    "Can't ignore him forever, he's gonna get out soon," I hear Elisia mumble before turning over.
     "Trust me I know," I whispered before cuddling under the sheets on my bed. When we woke up, we had to get ready for school. It was Monday the hell of all hell like days. When we got to school and sat in Ms. Dawson's class she wasn't there. She had been deployed again and we were all really bummed. The teacher introduced themselves before calling roll.
    "Aspen?" The teacher said and I replied with a numb here. She continued on before she said. "Zoe?" There was no reply and I looked at the empty seat. Zoe Desaul was King Cobra as I had figured out.
    "Brandon Darrow?" She asked and I sighed sadly looking at the empty seat next to me. She repeated it before some kid said he'd got busted. I let my head fall onto my desk as I groaned. Even when that asshole wasn't around he found some way into my head. I absolutely hated it. Today was going to be a long day. And I was right because pretty soon we were all herded into the gym about suicide prevention.
     The teacher drones on and I didn't pay attention as I sat next to Elisia and Rowan. "Hey how are you doing?" Rowan asked laying a hand on my shoulder.
    "Fine," I said giving her a smile. She nods but I could tell she wasn't convinced.
     "This is Tessa Mitchell, nicki Sullivan's cousin," I heard the end of what the teacher said. I watched a girl walk up to the microphone. She looked distraught and as though she were ready to cry at any moment. Although I guess she was because throughout her speech she kept choking back sobs. I barely understood what she was talking about but I knew enough of what she was saying.
     I knew how she felt, how she wished she could have seen the signs. I was right in front of Dunbar almost everyday. I didn't even realize what he was going through until he put the bullet in his head right in front of me. I shuddered just thinking back to that pale, yellow room. I couldn't even listen to the rest of her speech as I got up immediately feeling a panic attack starting to happen.
     Images kept flashing in my head as I rushed to the bathroom. I felt like I was going to throw up as my head became dizzy. Images of Dunbar, animal masks, Brandon, Elisia, Zoe in that mask everything seemed to spin out of control. I tried to breathe to think properly again, to banish the images to the darkest recesses of my mind but it was like one after another, after another.
    "Please, stop," I sobbed to myself as I curled into the corner of the stall. I wanted it to stop.
    "Aspen?" I heard a voice quietly from just outside of the door. "Is anyone else in there?" The voice asked. I shook my head realizing they wouldn't be able to see me.
    "N-no," I stuttered out trying to wipe my eyes. I heard shoes against the tiled floor before someone knocked on the stall door.
   "Are you going to let me in?" The voice asked. I shakily got up and walked to the door and unlocked it. "Jesus aspen," Trevor said looking at me from the other side.
    "What do you want? If you came here to laugh I'm not really in the mood," I muttered hugging myself.
    "Assembly is over, I saw Rowan and Elisia looking for you," he said looking down at the floor.
    "Why did you come into the girls bathroom?" I shuffled wiping a stray tear.
    "Because I was worried about you duh," he said rolling his eyes before looking back up at me.
    "Thanks," I muttered.
     "Don't thank me, Brandon's the one who told me to make sure you were okay," he said casually. I scoffed grabbing my bag from the ground and pushed by him. "Hey," he said grabbing my arm gently, "Talk to him, he cares about you." I shrugged his hand off me before turning and leaving the bathroom. To hell with them all.

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