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Home sweet Home

Saturday night
I throw my perfect brown curls in a bun , my honey brown eyes stare back at me in the mirror . I wasn't pretty I just had a perfect face and curves in all the right places.  a red skin tight dress wraps around my body enchancing each of my curves. The dress shows some cleavage and stops around the height of my thighs. I shake my head . This wasn't me . I don't know how my friend Alyssa dragged me into this . I throw the dress off and change into my red and white track sweatshirt and black sweatpants.

I sit on my bed with a book . It was Saturday night but I didn't want to go out , a party wasn't really my scene , I'd rather stay home and read  . The sound of my phone interrupted my reading. My phone is bursting with notifications.

Alyssa : where are you , I'm at Elizabeth's party

Alyssa : ????

Alyssa: Jenna ?

Alyssa: ???

Alyssa : Jason's here

She got me . She knew it would .... that's why we're best friends. Jason's been my crush since 3rd grade . I remember it so clearly . It was April 16th . Everyone was playing hide and seek . He grabbed my hand and we ran off to underneath the slides. We shared a quick kiss. Blue raspberry. This kiss tasted like blue rasberry. That was our thing , he would always give me blue rasberry lollipops at lunch because my family couldn't always afford to buy me extra snacks. He would give me oreos , chocolate pretzels , chocolate crossaints but blue raspberry lollipops was our favorite .

In 7th grade , Jason was there for me when my dad died.

I was so broken after my dad died

My dad was my king , my best friend , my hero. He was there for me
And when the car accident took him away a part of me was gone.

Jason comforted me. Some days he would invite me over and we would swim in his pool or others we would just FaceTime all night .

He made me laugh when I didnt think I would ever smile again.

Jason would always be there for me.
That's what l thought
I could never imagine losing him. He was a part of me and he was my safe place.

But fast forward a few years and it's sophomore year . And all Jason cares about is school , Soccer and his stupid perfect blonde girlfriend Hannah.

I missed him a lot , he may as well be in a different country . Now we only share small talk in halls or conversations of homework in chemistry class.

JENNA!! My mom shouts interrupting my thoughts of Jason.
I rush to the kitchen . She slurs her words as she tells me to clean up the kitchen. My younger brother stands next to her exhaling a cloud of  mango flavored smoke. He throws his juul pod at me in anger that I was still here . Ever since Dad died my mom and 14 year old brother have been annoyed of my existence. My mom curses me out until I turn away.

I run to my room holding back a waterfall of tears . Each day it gets worse , I usually turned to Jason when things got hard but he wasn't there for me anymore . he was probably partying with his girlfriend as I laid curled up on my bed in tears . I let the tears fall silently as I return to my book. My only escape from the cruel world.