Sparkles

one

"y/n"

it was loud and clear and it ringed inside my head. It was a voice I was never ever going to forget no matter how much time had passed and no matter how much I forgot the face.

"You cant do this to me"

it hurt. I could feel as if my heart had sunken and I didn't have the skill to keep it afloat. As his shaky voice continued to speak I could feel my heart sinking and sinking more and more.. I couldn't even do anything about it. I couldn't. I just couldn't. I couldn't turn around for the fact that I was going to break. I had to keep it in, not only for me but for the both of us. I inhaled deeply through my nose, not wanting to say a word for I knew that it was going to have some hint of regret in my tone. I took as much time as I could to collect myself. I knew I couldn't stay silent forever.

"what? all I've ever done was help you.. DO not blame me for your feelings and turn this on me."

I spoke, my voice being louder than his was, trying to cover up my hurt with anger but I knew that I could not burry my boundaries forever for I knew that he always seemed to have a way to break them down. I heard him take a un healthy pause in his voice and tenseness filled the air, and it was a very awkward and painful moment of silence knowing that it was possible that he could have broken down, or ran away, or something that he would do, knowing him. I still could not find the courage to even look at him or turn around; I had to be the strong one.

"liar."

my heart dropped as soon as I heard those words and tears begin to creep down my face, yet I couldn't raise my hand to dry them or I couldn't inhale, and all I could do was just let it fall.

"you felt it too. and I know you did and you just left me here to hurt and I couldn't do anything about it."

anger slowly filled my heart and I balled my fists up in my hand knowing that I was going to leave marks, yet in that moment I didn't even want to think about that.

how could he be so thoughtless...

I slowly turn around being fully vulnerable to him as I inhale trying to calm myself down. I could see that I was not the only one that had secretly broke down. Tears were now falling slowly from the corner of his eyes too. He stared at me as another one fell from his face.

"did you not think I was hurt too? I still haven't found out how to even look at you without falling in love with every single thing you do.."

-six months earlier-

"what.?"

"what the hell kind of guy is that? five points off already.."

I grab the pencil from the back of my ear and I pretend to be jotting down notes but in reality I was just scribbling on the clipboard and papers I had in front of me. Soo Jin playfully hits my shoulder gently but despite her soft features she had a pretty strong hit.

I grab my arm pretending as if I was hurt but in reality it really did. "oh shut up, you big baby." she laughs as she pats me hardly on the back. "HEY stop it" I whine as she just laughs leading us back onto the other conversation

"y/n.. just because the guy wants to meet at a bar doesn't mean hes a horrible person. he just has really good taste in wine."

she smiles gently at me using her charm to persuade me into going with her.

"Soo Jin.. what kind of guy wants to meet her girlfriends best friend at a BAR..."

I look up at her from the chair that I was sitting in and I look up at her with a blank expression for a few seconds before I roll my eyes 

"I don't like this guy already."  I think to myself but could never say out loud because she was my best friend and I could see that she really liked this guy so I decided to not speak at all. I bite down on my lower lip as I sigh.

"y/nnn...." she pleads "pleassee. ill show you that hes not a bad guy at all."

I shrug  before nodding an 'okay' because I couldn't just say no. I was deeply curious about the guy that had my dear friend  in such a trance. Soo Jin was never this way before, she was so overly confident and she enjoyed the attention but she had no plan or even desire to settle down with one single guy, and completely fall in love with him. not less than 3 months ago she was sitting here telling me that she wouldn't be in a committed relationship for a long while; I guess 3 months is a "long while." I hear a high pitched squeal come from her, as it snaps me out of my own little world, she grabs my wrist pulling me up from my warm chair that I was just getting used to and she drags me into her closet. Her parents made a decent amount of money, and she was a supporting actor, so she also made decent amount of money. she started looking through piles of her dresses before taking occasional glances at me. She takes out a short sparkly pink dress out and she hands it to me with a huge grin on her face. I look at the dress before looking at her with disgust. 

"Pink? sparkles?" I sigh deeply rolling my eyes. "You know that I don't do pink and sparkles. Especially them together."

She shoves the dress in my hands and zooms past my shoulders, now stepping out of the closet before the door slowly closes. She sticks her head in the way blocking the door from closing and she whispers, "trust me. It will look good on you." I knew that I couldn't get out of it. I wanted to make her happy and not argue this time. She winks at me before shutting the door.

 I put on the dress looking at myself in the full body mirror that she had in her room. I look at myself for a few seconds before shrugging. 

"lets get this night over with."