Cold

Lonely

(Btw Kwite has not confirmed that he's real name is Tyler Gadner Wirks, but either way I will be using Tyler as his name in this)

Kwite
I was sitting there. Cuddled up in Brandon's lap. We were watching some show. I'm not really paying attention. I'm only paying attention to how amazing it is to just cuddle up with Brandon. It's so comforting. The warmth and the way he strokes my hair as we watch a random show that, again, I'm not paying attention to. I love moments like this. Moments when we can just forget about all the difficulties of life. When all we have on our minds is each other. Feeling as safe as ever. I can't get over the fact that at some point, this moment will end, and we will be ripped from paradise and pushed back into reality. Even if that happens, I want to cherish this. Forever.
But soon after, my dream had to end, and we were pulled back into reality. "Hey, Tyler?" I heard Brandon whisper to me. Hearing his soft voice was nice. I didn't even realize he was trying to get my attention. "Tyler?" He asked in a louder tone, but not so much to startle me. I look up to face him, staring at his beautiful eyes, then quickly snap back into reality, "Yeah babe? Sorry I was zoning out. What is it?" I say softly. I get lost in his eyes for a second then I hear him again, "I need to go." "Where?" I don't ever want to have to move. "I told you this, I need to go to the doctor again." Brandon sounds way too serious. "Haven't they done enough tests? How don't they have enough information?" I'm worried about him. For the past two months Brandon's been going to "the doctor" and getting tests done. He won't exactly tell me what it is, but he told me that it's going to help us. He won't even tell me the doctors name. It's fine though. I trust him. "Not yet. They still apparently don't have enough information. They said that it's going to take a lot of researching and development." I hear Brandon say, looking at me, then smiling, "I'm going to be late baby. I need to get ready." I hate this, but I won't tell him. He seems a bit happy. I don't want to get into fight today. "Aww... okay. But you have to remember it's movie night! Don't be late!" I tried my hardest to not sound mad. "I'm so sorry. This might be the last test. I love you and I would never forget movie night." Brandon says, he sounds genuine, so I'll believe him. After I fully gave in to reality and left my dream world, Brandon got ready while I waited by the door to say goodbye. After a few minutes, he walks out of the bedroom and towards me. "I'm going to be late" Brandon says, in a hurrying tone. "Don't worry you'll make it." I smile softly at him then kiss him lightly on the lips. "Thanks. I got to go! Bye baby!" Brandon shouts running out the door. "I love you!" I yell, hoping he can hear me. Then as I'm about to close the door, he runs back and gives me a hug. "I love you too." Then he kisses me and runs off.

-After Brandon left-

Kwite

I'm lonely. Too lonely.

Why does Brandon have to do this? Why can't I go with him?
I'm too much of a baby to be left alone. I like company. I also always go everywhere with Brandon. He makes me feel safe. But lately, he's been going to the doctor to get more tests done. He said he would tell me what it's for later, but I can't take it! Why can't he tell his own boyfriend?! I was so overwhelmed with anger and sadness that I didn't even notice the tears rolling down my face. My tears evolved into waterfalls and now I was crying on the couch. I hate having break downs. But now I usually have Brandon to stop me from doing that.
After crying for a while, I sit up and start watching YouTube. I put on Brandon's videos just so I don't feel so alone. I'm still crying, but more quietly then before. I sat there for a long time, just... contemplating everything. Then, all of a sudden, I hear a car pulling in the driveway. It's Brandon! I quickly wiped my face from tears and snot, then changed the tv to a random show on Netflix and stay on the couch waiting. "Tyler! I'm hom-" he quickly stops yelling when he realizes I'm sitting on the couch near the door. "Oh hey!" He says, sort of excitedly. I quickly run towards him and jump in his arms and kissing him passionately. "I missed you babe." I said, sniffling and looking up at him. "I know, I'm sorry. I love you." He said to me. Then he looked me in the face and his expression changed to worry. "Baby? Were you crying?" He begins to be very worried. "N-no I w-wasn't." I don't want him worrying. He already feels bad about my "problem." I don't want him to feel like it's his fault. "Oh come on. I know you were. I can tell when my baby was crying." He started to look very sadly at me, "I'm so sorry." He grabs my waist and pulls me much closer towards his chest, "I don't want you to be sad. I don't want you to be alone ever again." He sounds like he is going to start crying. I don't say anything back. We just hugged for a while, then kissed very passionately.
After this, we got ready for movie night. Brandon had let me pick out a movie this time. I picked out something that I thought he would like. I'm not interested in anything but him, so I don't care what we are watching. Brandon makes popcorn while I get blankets and  Finish setting it up. After the popcorn finishes, we sit down and start the movie. I snug up next to Brandon while he puts his arm around me, pulling me even closer. After a while, I fell asleep in his lap and he had to carry me to the bedroom so I can be more comfortable.

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{ hi! So I don't know how to feel about this first chapter. I mean no ones going to read this so it's doesn't really matter}

-I'LL UPDATE THIS AGAIN WITHIN ABOUT A WEEK FOR THE ONE PERSON READING THIS-

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