A Person Of A thousand Thoughts

roses and clovers

hi im a sad person right now my boyfriend broke up with me and now im sulking. i feel as though i have the right to sulk we have been dating for a year and six months, he said he loved me but i can't help but feel like it was a lie. just a act. i should have never wasted my time with him i know for a fact that some of the people that i like also have crushes on me but some of them are already dating people. one person i like i know for a fact likes me but i haven't seen him in a while, he gets in trouble alot, and i just don't know him that well. and another person i know likes me has the reputation of being a skank plus she keeps trying to come over to my house just so she can have sex with me (while i was still with my ex ) and she was dating people at that time as well so if she would try it with me then how would i be able to trust the she would stay loyal while dating me? what sucks is how he broke up with. he broke up with me over text. but i just don't know, maybe he still likes me but i highly doubt it.

it's not that im hurt that he broke up with me, im upset because i feel like i've lost one of my best friends. i just want him to at least say thank you when he sneezes and i say bless you, i mean it's just manners to say thank you then again he's never really been to keen on manners all that much, but really to be as petty to not even say thank you like really?

it just hurts, alot, and i dont know what to do im trying to act ok but i just can't it hurts to much and all i want to do is cry, i dont want to go to school tomorrow. three of my best friends aren't going to be in class with me and i have to deal with a guy who i'm pretty sure wants to rape me, plus one of my other best friend with hang out with me BUT the dude that just broke up with me will have no one in my class to hang out with so he's going to hang out with my best friend making things awkward and i just can't do this anymore i just wish i could disappear from this life without a trace

i just feel so betrayed there was no warning we were not fighting or anything he just texted me and said he thought i would be better if we were not together anymore and a little more but i dont want to talk about that part. the only warning was one of my friends telling me that he texted her that he wanted to break up with me and she wasn't even supposed to tell me but she said that she would tell me if i didnt tell anyone

i just wish someone would come and shot me in the face and get it over with

for god's sake someone just kill me already