Behind the Pain

Second chance

Flashback ( several hours earlier)

I swear the nerves started to kick in while running towards his door trying to avoid getting soaked in rain. I became worried that this scene was going to turn into like the ones in the movies when the nice girl decides to surprise her boyfriend and instead she finds him having sex with someone else.

I guess if I saw Marshall in another compromising position right after I had confessed my feelings for him I wouldn't give him another chance, matter of fact I would cut all ties with him including being his friend.

Like always his house looked 10x time bigger when standing under the porch waiting for someone to answer the door but tonight it was good its taking so long for Marshall to walk to the door, it gives me a chance to think really clearly about what I'm going to say to him. I know I have to mention lying to him, being confused and being insecure about my body just so he understands why I actually couldn't get out of the studio fast enough.

Just likes always Marshall looks calm and collected opening the door even though it's like 11 at night, as I turned round to face him I noticed the shock in his face, but we continued staring in silence for a few seconds both not knowing what to say anything to each other, I was studying him wondering if he is angry that I'm here so late and why wasn't he at least inviting me in since I am standing out in the rain.

" I'm not interrupting anything am I?" I manage to comment, after still noticing the silence that is between us even though earlier this afternoon we were all over each other.

" No! why would you think that?" he rudely replied shrugging my question off with another one of his question. I don't know what it is but something must have happened because once again he seemed a lot happier earlier this afternoon when I was all over him, but tonight he just keeps staring at me.

" what do you want ?" He rudely asked since I didn't say anything to him, his attitude was so cruel and I'm trying really hard not to burst out crying after seeing the way he is treating me. I literally just put my heart on the line a few hour ago and all he can do is shrug of my question and still not bother to invite me in.

" This was a mistake,I should go" I softly said to myself before turning slightly to head back towards my car, trying so hard not to burst out in tears and try to keep my sadness hidden from him.

I can't believe he is being so sour towards me and couldn't even bother to say anything after everything I've shared with him

I literally burst out in tears when I jump back in the car not caring that I'm still parked in his driveway, I'm just glad since it's raining and all the windows are fogged up, so no one can see me leaning my head against the wheel crying my eyes out wondering how I could have been so dumb to actually think Marshall wants to be with me, he obviously was just caught up on all the lust before that's why he wanted to go further just so he could get of, but he doesn't want to sleep with someone like me, he will always choose a model over someone like me, I honestly wouldn't be surprised to find out that he has a girl back inside right now, fulfilling things I just can't seem to fulfill.

But it's my fault I'm once again crying over Marshall, Why the fuck do I keep forgiving him when he can't even go one day without turning on me or hurting me. I'm so over his mood swings and constant attitude changes.

I guess it was only seconds after getting back into the car and shedding a few tears that I jump in shock when I hear someone softly knocking on my window scaring the crap out of me because I couldn't see who it is through the fog and coldness, but I guess they were in a hurry because they didn't wait for me to roll down my window before they were opening my door.