I am tired of being hurt everywhere I go
I am tired of being used but everyone
I am tired of being treated like I'm nothing
I am tired of not being pretty enough for people
I am tired of not being good enough at something
I am tired of not being skinny enough
I am tired of eating but being judged for it
I am tired of told to be this for people to like me
I am tired of guys being bored of me and leave
I am tired of all the fake friends
I am tired of all the fake lovers
I am tired of the lies
I am tired of the hate people give
I am tired of not having all the friends
I am tired of not being happy
I am tired of not being trusted
I am tired of being fucking tired
Why can't I just wake up and not being all this
Why can't I just be pretty enough for people to like me
Why do I have to hang around people who aren't good for but I still go for them
Why can't I just be liked for being me and not for something im not
Yes I know I'm not pretty I know I'm not smart enough I know I'm not the most athletic I know I'm not the fastest I know I'm not the quietest I know people dont like me because of who I hang out with I know I'm the freak of the school
People see that im annoying loud not smart slow always behind of everyone in sports and class people know I hang out with "freaks" but they don't know the real me
The real me is the quiet one the lonely one the sad one the depressed loser I'm not the pretty girl I'm not the girl who has it all I don't have it all yes I got my parents, yes I got a home yes I still have family yes they buy me stuff and do things for the school for me if I needed it but they aren't really where you don't know how I have it at home no one does my family don't see what's wrong they think everything is okay but its not no one knows if I fail at school I get beat no one knows if I give up at practice I get yelled at being called pathetic or no good enough no one WILL EVER KNOW so don't act like you do all you guys know is the cover-up of me.All I wanna do is give up I don't know what the point is anymore
I lost myself a long time ago and I am just getting more and more lost and further away and no one is wondering where I'm going no one cares or will care if I leave, would they?? They would just forget me later that day im not something to cry over or miss im not important
Ever since I lost the piece of me I was never found again or put back together I was never the same
Ever since she betrayed me and used me for 5yrs I lost the trust in anyone I couldn't walk outside without being judged or feeling like they are all judging me for what I'm wearing or what I look like. I couldn't eat with remembering all the fun time we had when she was over and we ate dinner I look at my room after you left and I couldn't go in there without feeling trapped in my mind but I couldn't come out either because I missed those days. I miss her every day and I know I shouldn't I missed calling you and telling you about my day at school or walking to your house after school and walking around the blocks talking about a thing that I needed help with or anything that was bothering me
I trusted you with everything I had and you used me just to hurt me so you can be cool with your friends yes this happened a year ago almost two but I remember it like it was yesterday you did this it hurts me every day knowing I was never the one making you happy. But I am way better of without her..I think...
I want to be happy all I wish I could be is fucking happy but I can't be happy no matter I do I can't. I play sports that made me happy but now it's just a sport I try talking to other people and be friends with people I used to love talking to people and making friends now I just sit alone and that makes me feel better but I hate being alone but all I want to do it be left alone I just wanna walk off and not eat not talk to anyone
don't worry im fine
