Truth or Dare? // c.b (✔︎)

[14] can you medicate a broken heart?

COLBY'S POV

w o r d s: 2337

p a g e s: 8

"just one question if you can bare it. 'cause i spend my days still thinking about you. should i take a pill to numb the pain? can you medicate a broken heart? build your walls up just to rip them apart"

I can't believe she did that to me. I can't believe Brennen did that to me. I stuffed her ring in my pocket then I just went straight to my room. I felt a familiar feeling in my chest. It was like Amanda all over again. I thought she was the one. I guess not. I flopped on my bed and I let the water works flow. I guess I would really be single forever. My heart was bursting like a volcano. The sight of Ari underneath Brennen as he kissed her like I do when we get intimate. I take the ring out of my pocket and set it down on my desk. My phone buzzed with messages from Ari and Brennen trying to explain themselves. I didn't need it. I know what I saw.

I cried myself to sleep like I did when Amanda cheated on me. It's like déjà vu all over again. I didn't hate her. I didn't hate Brennen even though I should. I still love her with all my heart. I saw an almost gone rum bottle on the floor. I blame it on the rum not on them well I blame them for fifty percent of it. I cuddled my pillow which smelled like Ariana. She was a drug that I can't stop taking. Her rose scented perfume is like logged inside my mind. I sigh tossing the pillow across my room and just lie there just looking at my ceiling. I couldn't fall asleep. The vivid image of Ari and Brennen still freshly in my mind. I got up from my bed and went down stairs to grab a bottle of whatever alcohol we have from past parties and went in my room to drink myself to sleep. Nobody was home they were either out or doing some crazy shit. I took a bottle and went up to my room to drink the whatever liquor I grabbed.

In the morning I felt completely numb like I was dead or in a coma or taken a long ass nap and everything is numb. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and looked at my phone. Thirty plus messages from Brennen and Ariana trying to explain.

Ari: Baby, please just let me tell you about what happen... it didn't mean anything... I love you and only you... I can't lose you....

Brennen: Bro, let's just talk about this, we were drunk as shit I blame it on the alcohol.

Ari: Baby I blame him and the liquor please just call me and let's meet up. I miss you. The bed feels so alone without you... Cole please...

Brennen: Fine bro, if you want to talk after a few days I'll know that you somewhat forgive me when you text me back. Love you bro, I would never do anything to hurt you I hope you know that.

Ari: I'll give you a few days to well think about talking to me. If you don't want to see me anymore, I completely understand that. I love you so much Cole I hope you know that.

My eyes stung with tears again and my head was pounding. I lazily got up and went into the bathroom to take some aspirin. I looked in the mirror and I didn't know who was looking back at me. His undereye bags were more visible. His hair was messier than normal. His blue eyes were dark, dark blue almost black with sadness. I just need a few days to cope with this shit. I know what I had to do. I had to move back home for a bit, just for clarity. I texted the group chat saying I'm going back to Kansas for a few days. They were confused because of course they didn't know the situation and I was afraid to tell them about it. So, I just made some shit up saying I lost motivation to do social media so I wanted to go back home for a short break. I didn't want them to hate Ari. I didn't care if they hated Brennen. I booked a plane ticket for Kansas for a few days. I tweeted saying I need a break and I'm going back home for a few days. I know that the fans would appreciate me having a break for a short while. Plus, I have been feeling burnt out recently.