A Boy Named Autumn

Autumn Wheatley, Pro-Sex Movement; The Gift That Keeps on Giving

I walked towards Tyler Jamison's locker, tired and sore from last night.

"Autumn?" a soft, seductive voice called out to me.

I swiveled on my heel, facing the last person I wanted to see while in the mood I was in.

"What is it this time, Amanda?" I sighed, fed up with her desperateness and constant pleading for me to see her again.

"Will you consider giving my offer another chance?" I pushed her away, a little creeped-out. Agh. This girl has been up my ass since I hit puberty. I didn't even need to see Tyler that much, but anything to get away from this slut.

"Uhm. Hey. I don't really care right now, Amanda. I need to find Tyler. Uhm. Sorry, bye."

I ran away, hoping I didn't sound too mean. I've probably made her cry enough. It's not like I even made her cry all those times by being a douche again, just by... being a guy. If that means fucking anything with two legs and tits, I'm in. I felt sort of sorry for the girl. Although, it isn't my fault. She offered every time. Her fault. Not mine.

"I wasn't offering THAT," Amanda called out to me. I was already too far away.

Back to important matters, Tyler fucking Jamison, at the end of the hallway, shamelessly, and in quite the pedophilic fashion, flirting with a scrawny freshman. This boy, will fuck anything that moves. Can he not see the eyeshadow dripping in giant beads of sweat from her eyebrows? She obviously filled them in quite a lot because it looked like the entire upper half of her face was melting with brown makeup. I don't think he would get too mad at me if I interrupted this one.

"HEY, TYLER," I shouted, watching the tiny, sweaty, make-up faced freshman scurry away, blushing at me as Tyler scowls at me. I shrugged.

"Sorry, bro. I tend to have that effect on girls."

"Shut up, Wheatley. What is it?" Tyler mutters, obviously pissed.

"I am going on a date with some girl I met off of twitter last night. @AmyBugz239, I think."

"So you're dead set on twitter girls now. No more SPBA?"

Argh. Everyone in the state thinks South Pacific Beach girls are the hottest. If only they knew how easy they were. It is a private school where most people hate their parents or ant authority after all.

I am interrupted from my thoughts by the late bell. Great. I look around and realize Tyler is gone and everybody scurried to class.

I pull a stack of late passes I stole off the principal's desk during our last encounter and forge his signature. I have every detail of it memorized because of all the times I've gotten late passes and my parents got angry letters from him suggesting I seek help improving my behavior. I am not a douche.

I walk to Mr. Moore's class, not very excited to learn about our American History unit.

I almost walk into the room, before I remember I will be expected to make a scene. I decide on the usual. I'm not feeling very creative today.

I walk into the classroom and wink at a few girls in the front row, running my fingers through my hair. I can practically hear their panties melting. I reach out my hand to Mr. Moore, but before I can fully hand over the pass, I trip over an untied shoelace and fall flat on my face with a loud thud.

"SHIT," I screamed, as my head hit, already anticipating the pain. I do this every time I'm late for class. It's sort of like my routine.

Mr. Moore wastes about five minutes of class yelling at me and then shoos me off to sit in the back of the room.

I mope through the rest of American History, flicking paper balls at Mr. Moore.

***

@AmyBugz239 is energetic. After spending much time with this girl, she's asking for round three. I quickly explain how I have to go home and take care of my mom and run out the door of the storage closet and scurry out of the theater, fixing my undone belt.

She runs after me, screaming.

"AUTUMN IS SUCH A GIRLY NAME. I SHOULD'VE KNOWN YOU PROBABLY HAVE DADDY ISSUES AND WOULDN'T GIVE OUT A THIRD TIME."

Or maybe we haven't all been gymnasts since the age of two? I am worn out. This girl is just making me mad.

I turned around, shaking and screamed as loud as possible, in order for @AmyBugz239 to hear me through the pounding rain.

"I AM UNFOLLOWING YOU, AMYBUGZ"

"WHATEVER, AUTUMN"

She didn't use my @. We are not on a first name basis yet. I sigh and get into my car. I drive off, deciding which twitter mutual to flirt with next.