El Dorado, And Related Cities

Chapter I-IV

1

I: A First Glance at Our Heroes

The jungle was sweltering—every plant gave off a shimmering green aura of heat as if the sun were causing it to melt. The fauna stood stock still (if they were any smart, they did) or tossed snippets of songs at each other creating a cacophony of noises. Aside from the distinctly metallic sunlight that filtered through the dense canopy of leaves, there was absolutely nothing in that neck of the Amazon rainforest of interest.

You'd have to be insane to be out walking in it.

But that's just what two very intrepid (or very crazy) men were doing. Goncalo Pizzaro Y Alonso, royal conquistador in the service of Emperor Charles I, and Francisco De Orellana, professional sidekick, picked their way through the underbrush as if driven by the oh-so noble desire to set up a tent for the night.

And it was barely ten o'clock in the morning.

“Goncalo, look—,” began Francisco.

“Yes?” Goncalo testily replied.

“Walking through the forests all day is one thing...but must we do it in FULL armor. I really do believe that we are safe from any attacks by dint of the fact that we're in the absolute middle of nowhere!”

“Can't be too careful.”

A long silence reigned. Well, I suppose it can't really be considered silence since the frogs and whatnot were still going at it.

“Well, actually, I think one CAN be too careful.”

“Oh dear God, Francisco. I really don't want to hear this.”

“No no no no no, hear me out. Remember when we set sail from Spain? And I thought it might be a good idea to mount a couple of those enormous cannon-things in case of pirates...what are they called again?”

“You mean bombard cannons?”

“Yeah, those. You said there would be no point in loading any on our ship, so we'd just have to take the risk that we might run into violent sea-marauders.”

“Francisco, those things weigh over three thousand pounds. Each. I wanted to make it to the New World, not the far end of Seville harbor.”

“Yes, well, I think it proves my point completely.”

“No.”

“Oh for God's sake, Goncalo! At least let me take this helmet off!

“No.”

And the rest of the day continued in pretty much that same vein. Surprisingly, they had had this same conversation both of the previous days, that is to say, since they had first set foot in the jungle.

II: The Jaguar

“Animals are bad news, my friend. Don't ever get near one,” the wise Goncalo counseled his friend.

“Well, I hardly think I have a choice. Even under this tent I bet you anything there are about a half a million varieties of spider. And I bet right above our roof there are dozens of little birdies. Yes, and moreover, there's a jaguar staring us down about thirty paces to your right.”

You can imagine how Pizzaro's heart froze with the news. On second thought, most likely you can't, since in my experience there is a very unique type of fear associated with Jaguars at night. It's the eyes, I think. Or the slightly hunched back. Or the unusually triangular faces.