A Reylo Novel (updating soon)

Chapter 1

(Rey)
I drew my cloak up higher onto my shoulders as I kept in step with everyone else. We made our way slowly up the path, lined on either side with torches, each burning amethyst, and scarlet. I felt their heat lightly caress my face. Quite the crowd had come, though I wasn't surprised. I lowered my eyes down to the path, white petals scattering the dirt beneath my feet. A gentle breeze blew the thick foliage above us as the last of the light streamed through the leaves. Suddenly, we came to a halt. I didn't dare move, just focused my eyes on the front of the group. Four men lifted the casket off the cart and placed it on a platform, elevating it off the ground. The soft blue casket laiden with bronzium ornamentation was closed, with azure blossoms on vines of green ornately strewn on its surface.
One by one, each of us in the procession was able to stop and mourn over her body. With each step, my heart fell. My insides twisted with fear, fear of what I might do when I got up to that casket. My eyes were already red, swollen, and dry from my daily bout of tears. Yet more than anything, I felt the emptiness that gnawed at me. The feeling of being alone, although I wasn't, but felt alone in a different sense of the word.
Perhaps it was because General Organa had been the last person I had found comfort in. I squeezed my eyes shut. I could already feel my breathing beginning to become ragged. When I looked up, it was almost my turn. Suddenly, I sensed something.
My eyes began to ache with a dull pain, and my head, without thought, looked in his direction.
Yes, it was him.
Although I clearly felt him, I could not see him. I drew my brows together and narrowed my eyes. Someone behind me gave me a slight nudge and I watched as the person in front of me did little but merely look at the casket before continuing on. It was my turn now.
I took small and tentative steps, taking in a great deal of air to prepare myself for what came next. I let my eyes drop to the casket, a choked cry escaping me as tears began to stream down my face. I did little to stop them, only gently brushing my face with the back of my hand. I outstretched my left arm and let my fingers brush the krinn-wood, cool and smooth. I held my hand there for a few seconds, peering into where I knew Leia's face was, though it was now disfigured and I was unable to see it.
The person behind me stepped right up against me, a sign I had stayed too long. I broke my gaze and kept walking, standing beside others out of the way. Once the last of the procession line had paid their respects, a small girl wearing a cream-colored gown came forward, and in a soft voice, began to sing. I didn't focus much on the words but instead felt the song fill me inside. Then, all fell silent. The noises around me became a faint hum.
The hair on the back of my neck stood up, and I felt that same dull throb return.
"No, no, no...this can't be happening," I muttered under my breath. And suddenly, there he was. Kylo Ren stood before me. I didn't say anything, just stared. It had been a small amount of time since I had last seen him through a force connection, as I had closed the door to the Millennium Falcon, yet it startled me all the same. He was in his private quarters, in full uniform but without his mask. His eyes, downcast, bored into mine for answers. They pleaded with me to understand. But I couldn't, not yet. I turned my attention back to the little girl, who had finished her song. I hadn't known it had come to an end as everything was still very distant as if I was listening from underwater. I turned back to Kylo. He wanted to watch his mother's funeral...
"Kylo," I asked, the words barely escaping my lips.
"Rey," he responded, his voice little more than a whisper.
I bristled as he said my name.
"Rey," he repeated, with a slight tone of urgency in his deep voice.
"What do you want," I hissed back.
"Where are you?" He shook his head. "Are you alright, because of I-"
I cut him off. "No, I'm not okay. Your mother is dead, and you are to blame!" I felt my voice rising. I had to end this conversation before someone overheard.
"Please," he spoke with a dangerously calm voice. "Don't cut me off like that, I don't deserve it. Nor do I appreciate being accused of causing my own mother's death."
"You are with the First Order," I spat. "You had everything to do with her death."
"So quick to place blame..." he murmured, his voice trailing off. Motion behind him caused him to whip around quickly, destroying the calm facade he had worn. There was nothing there; simply mourners navigating their way through the crowds.
I narrowed my eyes at the tall figure. "What's the matter, Ren, scared the Rebellion could apprehend you here?
Still scanning the assembly of people, he replied, "I would not use the word 'scared'; perhaps cautious?"
I saw a few people giving me odd looks. Someone was giving a eulogy about General Organa now, about how great a woman she was, and her many accomplishments. I didn't want to interrupt this funeral more than I already had, yet I didn't want to leave. I decided to move further back into the crowd, keeping my eyes on Kylo Ren as I did.
"You can deny it all you want, but you know your mother's death was partly your fault. It will haunt you as your father's death has. I can already see it in your eyes. You feel responsible for this."
"Don't you dare bring my father's death into this conversation," he spat back.
I knew I had struck a sore spot. I recoiled slightly. I wasn't used to him being so harsh. But then again, why was I taunting him? I could already see how his mother's death was affecting him. He was somewhat to blame. I brought my eyes downward, away from his piercing gaze, and thought of what to fire back at him. But the words were lost between my mind and my mouth.
"They are about to bury your mother," came out instead. I said it softly, and Kylo eased at my words.
I made my way back to the front, where freshly dug earth formed a perfect rectangle for the casket to be lowered into. A final resting place for a woman who deserved to finally be at peace. She had lived a life dedicated to helping others, to ensure that the galaxy itself would find peace. Yet she couldn't save her own son. I had thought I could be the one to bring him back, but I had been wrong. Both of us saw the light, but it flickered and faded before us. Somewhere, deep inside, his words, seemingly long ago now, still echoed through my mind.
"You aren't alone."
"Neither are you," I had said. I meant it. I meant it because Ben Solo, a broken boy whose own mentor and uncle turned on him, sat in front of me, listening. But now before me in Ben's place stood Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order. Perhaps the day he chose to, instead of saving the fleet, offer me a chance to turn my back and escape my problems was when I became so cold to him. To leave someone, just as my parents had? I would never do that to anyone. And I didn't believe Ben would either. To feel so close, then have him go that way...it hardened the part of my heart I had opened to him. The vulnerable, scared, and lonely person who inhabited it. He knew my darkest secrets, my biggest weaknesses. And I knew his. Yet now we were distanced even more, and all because of one mistake. And here we are presently, at his mother's funeral. The First Order sent in a bombing squadron, sent to ensure the Resistance be wiped from the face of the planet. Those bombs split the still of night. Those bombs dropped where Leia ran to save any remaining survivors. The whole place became a ball of fire, consuming anyone it could, ensuring no one would be alive. I didn't know if Kylo sent those orders, but him being Supreme Leader led me to tie him to the horrible event all the same. And now he stood before me, miserable, looking thinner and paler since I saw him last. Yes, his mother's death was eating him alive. We both watched in silence as the casket was gently dropped into the cool earth. More flowers were strewn across the surface of the casket. Men in sweeping robes of crimson began to slowly heap mounds of soft earth back on top, the casket fading from view. I turned my attention back to Kylo as two young children ran directly through Kylo's torso--or, where his torso would be if he were actually standing there. One of them paused for a moment, inside of where his midsection was, an odd look crossing the boy's face. He raised an eyebrow and looked around confusedly. An older woman who I took for the boy's mother came toward him. Shoving her arm through Kylo, she grabbed the boy's forearm and tugged him away. I suppressed a chuckle as Kylo jumped back in shock. His face immediately turned a deep red, and he scowled.
"What," he asked through gritted teeth, "was that?"
"That," I replied with a mock grin, "was a child."
He sighed heavily and looked towards the ceiling. "Make it go away!"
I rolled my eyes at him. "It, as you referred to him, is already gone."
There really wasn't any point in lingering here any longer. Some people were placing candles and wreaths overtop the freshly laid dirt while others tried to weave their way out of the crowd. But Kylo seemed to think differently. He took a step closer to the spot that marked the freshly dug grave, seemingly in a trance-like state. If we stopped talking, he would lose his final connection to his mother. For the first time, the thought that occurred to me was not unfavorable. It was... new. Was it, perhaps, pity? I took a deep breath, trying to calm my racing thoughts. I didn't have a choice, did I? Yes, I could deny him the privilege to visit her grave, but then I would be just as bad as him. I was presented with a choice, but I already knew my decision. We waited in silence until the last of the mourners had gone. Immediately, he raced forward and fell to his knees in front of the memorium. Tears began to freely flow from his eyes as he buried his face in his hands. I was frozen. I had no idea that he was capable of such raw, human emotion. Hesitantly, I stepped towards him, unsure what to do. I breathed in, then out. Slowly, slowly, I inched closer.
He screamed.
His hands balled into fists. Then they fell to the ground at his sides as he sank, defeated, sobbing in anguish. My heart sank at the sight of his agony, because I knew how he felt. The feeling of being alone. I made my mind up, and crossed quickly over to the shaking figure.
"Ben," I breathed.
Kylo looked up, his dark eyes drilling into mine.
"Leave me," he growled, his voice haggard. I ignored him, and reached out to touch his arm.
"Ben," I repeated, softer, my tone gentle. I placed my hand on his shoulder.
"Did you not hear me?" he bellowed, rising to his feet and shaking off my touch, the tears still fresh on his face.
"I--I'm sorry," I stammered, stepping back quickly. I'd obviously gone over my boundaries.
"Just leave me," he muttered as he bowed his head once more.
I stepped away, nearly in tears. He yelled at me. I couldn't believe I had expected anything less from him. I was a fool to think Kylo Ren could have changed.