50% of Heaven, 50% of Hell

Chapter Fourteen: Demon Walls

OMG I KNOW a new chapter.... FINALLY(: read the note at the end if you want to know how im gonna start updating.

My head ached, my eyes ached, and my heart ached. Too many human emotions were crashing down on me, and I wasn't invented to handle those emotions. This is just too much. I fumble for words, but soon straighten out my tongue.

"Mirea... How are you alive? I ask, stepping away from one of the most powerful beings alive.

"I took a tip from Balthazar and I faked my own death. I'm sorry, I should have come to you sooner but I need your help." Her expression changed from joy to sadness, her face hardening as the years show. "I need your help when I meet the Winchesters."

The Winchesters. I haven't thought about them for a while. Even imprisoned I could feel prayers extended to me, although I couldn't know the meaning of them. Adam hadn't prayed for me, and Sam recently stopped but Dean's summons hadn't ceased; only increased as the time went by. Dean. My happiness at regaining a long lost friend soured as I thought of my current one. Dean, who kissed the love of my existence. It doesn't matter now, she's... gone. Dead.

"What do you want with the Winchesters? I can't help but ask, wondering why they seem to be involved in every monumentally earth changing event.

Mirea smiles again. "Haven't you heard Castiel? We are declaring war. Dean is going to kill Naomi."

Neveah's POV

Adam is in hell. Sam is in hell. My dad is in hell, my uncle, who happens to be the devil, is also in hell. My mom is probably in hell, if they have a hell for twisted, baby eating demons, and now I have to go into hell.

The perks of being a half-angelic, half-demonic entity.

Most 24 year old are worried about their jobs, the rent, a boyfriend. Not me, I have to worry about saving the world. And the best part is I have no idea how to do the shit.

"You want me to just stroll right into hell and drag out Sam AND Adam? I don't even know how I got Adam out last time, he dreamed about me or something. It was kind of an accident. I can't just angel up, I don't even remember how. I'm not this awesome creature who can just kill whatever she wants, I, a scared 24 year old girl. This is bullshit, I can't do it." The panic is more evident in my voice than I wanted to portray, but maybe they will grasp how much I can't do this.

Bobby walks over and put his hands on both of my shoulders, successfully stopping my flailing arms. "Nevaeh, you need to realize you are never going to remember your past f you can't accept both parts of what you are now. You are half demon. You belong to hell just as much as you belong to heaven. You need to stop being afraid of your dark side and just accept it, and only then you can get back to before." He drops his arms and reddens slightly. "Just man up and get it over with dammit." He says gruffly, trying to regain his manly composure in front of Rufus and Dean.

"You don't need to angel up, you need to demon up. Angels can pull dead people from hell, but you need a demon to get a living person out of there." Dean says from his position on the couch.

Rufus butts in. "Adam told me to tear down your walls, but not the important one." He sounded puzzled saying it, and Dean frowned and looked at me as if I was going to explain.

Out of everything Adam could have said, this helps the most. He meant the walls in my mind, the ones I chip at and crack to get memories. Except that now, I think I know that different walls hold different things. The most damaged wall is my angel barrier. It glows in my mind, and I think the grace-adrenaline boost helped me chisel at that. The gray wall is my memories, a mix of light and dark and so thick it will take me a lifetime to get through. It's the important one, the one I have to ignore for now. There are more barriers, but the three biggest are my grace, my memories, and my smoke. I guess I should call it my smoke, that's what it looks like, although it seems wet and slimy and dry all at once. It swirls behind a wall of skin, pressing towards me then away like it can't decide if it wants me or not.

I had dreams about this before, but it didn't make sense that it was real until now. "I know what I have to do." I say, glancing at Bobby, then at the ground. "But if I do this, I'm going to be screwed up for a while, I won't be balanced and it won't be good." Bobby wants me to accept both sides of me, fine. But to do this I'm going to have to rip down my demon wall and that means my angel side will be subdued and submerged until I can't get to it, if I will ever be able to.

Fear racked my body, and shivers went up my spine. I could feel my stomach convulsing as I pictured the disgusting black sludge that would permit my mind if I teared that wall down. "I'm going to do it. But I'm gonna be... it'll be bad you guys." My stomach got the best of me and I ran to the sink, heaving up what little I had eaten. Tears rolled down my face.

Once I was done, I walked to the stairs and climbed to the bedroom. Bobby, Dean and Rufus all enter behind me and sit at different parts in the room. I lay on the bed, tears still rolling out of my cheeks.

"Bye guys" I whisper, and reach for the black wall in my mind. It only took one accepting poke.

The smoke swirls out and ravages me. I could feel it, it billows up to cloud my vision before slamming into my brain. I scream, so loudly that the back of my throat is slick from blood. My back arches, my neck loose and I screamed again, this time my voice cut out as my vocal cords break and my voice cracks to a muted roar.

The pain gathers in once place before exploding like fireworks, over and over again, four times a second. My finger tips are seared, and beneath my skin, my flesh starts to cook as the smoke heats me up hotter and hotter and hotter until I am fire.

I can't feel the bed anymore, but I can feel the ceiling as my mind flings me in an attempt to get it out.

Get it out get it out get it out get it out

I can hear myself chanting but I shouldn't be able to talk. The desk in the bedroom splinters in half as my body hurls its self again.

My screams are wordless cries and my face contorts. My sin is gone, it's fileted off, but no, it's still there. My bones snap and mend three times over as my body bends itself in half before slamming straight again.

And then it's gone.

Hey my lovelies (: I know, its been about 7 months and you'll probably have to reread the story to figure out what's going on. I'm sorry but I have decided to update a lot more often now(: im gonna write an hour a day, and that should mean at least a chapter, if not two on this one and then more chapters on old/new books.

If there are any inconsistencies please let me know, I haven't even looked at this story in 7 months lol.

If you guys actually care about this, leave a comment, but I will post a schedule of when I'm going to write what if you guys want to know, so yea(:

Thanks for all the comments and the reads and likes, thank you guys for the support (: I love you guys.

Enjoy!!!

SPOILER DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T WANNA KNOW

Nevaeh's going to get is on hot and heavy with someone soon. ;) No sex yet you horny bastards.